If Barry bonds is really taking something
To hit make him hit more homers than before
They gotta throw him out of the game, sir
They gotta throw him out the door
Then burn the porn films with all the girls with implants
Burn the poetry by men who took lithium as boys
Your erection compliments of Levitra
Is hereby rendered null and soft and void
Then rip the contact lenses from your eyes, sir
You’re not really supposed to see naturally that well
No more flu shots or antibiotics
You’re supposed to still be sick my friend
In the future they say we’re gonna live
180 years, or 200
And you know they’ll be some jerk going around pointing
Saying you’re supposed to be dead, supposed to be dead
Disgrace by hint and suspicion
It’s point and cast a cloud of instant shame
And the president stamps the witch hunt with approval
And McCarthy gets sent back into the game
I’d like to now make a statement
I’d like to make a statement now
For a three-year period I was taking steroids
And my songs for that time are now in doubt
I apologize to my family
I apologize to you, the fans
I apologize to the very craft of songwriting
I’ll take my punishment with all the grace I can
God Said No and Black Tornado, throw ‘em out
I wrote them while the juice was in my veins
Everything I’ve sung since Fuck the Monkey
Go ahead and throw it down the drain
Imagine a world where everyone’s taking something
Imagine such a world then just for fun
Imagine the president’s taking smart pills
That’d be even better than 73 home runs
Disgrace by hint and suspicion
It’s point and cast a cloud of instant shame
And the president stamps the witch hunt with approval
And McCarthy gets sent back into the game
73
73
73 home runs
73
73
73 home runs
73
Dan Bern
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Lyrics by Dan Bern
Alaska Highway All Right Kind Of A Girl Baby Bye Bye Baby Love Beautiful Trees Black Tornado Broken Down Old Horses Capetown Carried Away Chain Around My Neck Chick Singers City Closer To You Crow Cure For Aids Different Worlds Don't Get Mad Get Even Dreidel Estelle Eva Everybody's Baby Fly Away Go To Sleep God Said No Graceland Hannibal Hannukahs of Long Ago Hey God Hiroshima Holy House Home Honeydoo! Hoody I Need You I Need You I'm Not from Around Here I'm Not The Guy Jerusalem Jesus Freak King of the World Krautmeyer Kurt Late Show Latkes Lifeline Lithuania Little Russian Girl Live Another Day Maccabees Marilyn Menorah Monica My Love is Not For Sale Never Fall in Love New American Language No Missing Link Oh Sister Oklahoma One Dance One Piece at a Time One Thing Real Party By Myself Presents Queen Rainin' in Madrid Rice Rolling Away Rome Smartie Mine So Many Ways Soul Suicide Bomb Superman Suzanne Sweetness Swing Set Talkin' Alien Abduction Blues Tape Terra Haute The Fascist in Me The Golden Voice of Vin Scully These Living Dreams Tiger Woods Toledo Too Late to Die Young Trudy True Revolutionaries Turn on a Dime Turning Over Waffle House Waffle House Hannukah Wasteland Welcome When The Earth Had Two Moons World
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