Good Morning Tuscon
Jonathan Coulton

It's still so dark because it's still so early
And the chipper little girlie
At the front desk doesn't mind at all
These phony living rooms and fake plants are killing me
This bad coffee's filling me with equal parts joy and rage
Put my makeup on and crack in half
I choke back a laugh
Find the camera with the red light

Good Morning Tuscon
The lights come on and so I smile wide and say
Good Morning Tuscon
I throw to before I throw the rest away

When I was coming up I got the donuts
Which means I got the donuts that I wanted
There was no young punk to steal my jelly glazed
And I am still sort of amazed you can be born in the 90s
When I don't like what they talk about
I take the earpiece out
But they just cue me through the window

Good Morning Tuscon
The lights come on and so I smile wide and say
Good Morning Tuscon
I throw to before I throw the rest away

While they do the weather I pretend I'm writing something
But I'm really far away
Really far away
I keep my smile warm in case they turn the camera on
Cause now I have something to say
I have something to say

The camera's melting but I just keep going
It's been a pleasure knowing you I wish you all the best of luck
When the prompter dies I'm comfortable winging it
I'm practically singing it, the song that tears the world apart
Through the smoke beyond my parking space
I see my giant face
On the billboard by the highway

Good Morning Tuscon
The lights come on and so I smile wide and say
Good Morning Tuscon
I throw to before I throw the rest away

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Lyrics by Jonathan Coulton

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