When I was a young chap, just a little bouncing boy
My family was not wealthy so I had to make do
With second-hand pyjamas and a single wooden toy
A dinosaur my daddy made with balsa wood and glue
But when I turned 13 and to high school off I trotted
I knew immediately that my dino wouldn't do
Cause I had noticed all the toys the other boys had gotted
And I couldn't help myself I wished that I had got them to
CHORUS
My daddy made a dinosaur with balsa wood and glue
But before too long I knew that my dino wouldn't do
When I was 15 years old I first turned to thieving
To satiate my craving to having things the other kids had
I stole an gnarly skateboard from a skateboard shop one evening
It had bodacious fluoro railing and a wicked fluoro skidpad
By the following Monday morning the skateboarding turned to boredom
My appetite for skating was abating in a flash
So I sold my board and bought a pair of flippers and a snorkel
But soon I balked at snorkling forked my snorkel in the trash
CHORUS
My daddy made a dinosaur with balsa wood and glue
But before too long I knew that my dino wouldn't do
At 18 I managed hedge funds and got fat by drinking beer
At 20 I owned 7 cars and houses on the coast
I fell in love at 23 with a Swedish girl called Mia
I bought a 200 quid toaster with which Mia made me toast
At 28 I went through like a Buddhist kind of thing
And decided the material world and I were through
I hooked up with some Buddhist chicks who said that they were twins
But they didn't look that similar and they did stuff twins don't do
CHORUS
My daddy made a dinosaur with balsa wood and glue
But before too long I knew that my dino wouldn't do
But now I'm 47 stone and 31 years old
I have a kitchen staff of 12 on call 24 hours a day
And a page 3 girl I pay to lick chocolate from my folds
And a rent boy called Llewellyn though I'm neither Welsh nor gay
Now to those who judge my lifestyle to be gluttonous and brash
And critise my excess aquisition and consumption
I say that critics of the wealthy are just those who don't have cash
And who have never had a prostitute spread Marmite on their scrotum
CHORUS
My daddy made a dinosaur with balsa wood and glue
But before too long I knew that my dino wouldn't do
My father died a year ago to dust he's now returned
And I found my wooden dinsoaur which all these years has lasted
And I cremated it and put it with Dad's ashes in an urn
Below a gravestone with three words on it; stingy bastard
My daddy made a dinosaur with balsa wood and glue
Which is all very quaint, but I'd rather eat foie-gras inside a Porsche
Greed (Balsa Wood & Glue)
Tim Minchin
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Lyrics by Tim Minchin
5 poofs and 2 pianos Angry Beauty Canvas Bags Cheese Come Home (Cardinal Pell) Confessions - in three movements Cont Dark Side Donnie Darko Song Drowned Eighteen Yr Old Lesbian F Sharp Fat Children Hello I'm In A Cage I'm In A Cage If I Didn't Have You If I Didn't Have You If I Didnt Have You If You Open Your Mind Too Much, Your Brain Will Fa... If You Open Your Mind Too Much, Your Brains Will F... If You Really Loved Me Inflatable You Loud Lullaby Mitsubishi Colt Not Perfect Nothing Can Stop Us Now Peace Anthem For Palestine Perineum Millenium - The In Between Years Phil Daoust song Prejudice Rock 'n' Roll Nerd Rock 'n' Roll Nerd Rock n Roll Nerd Second Encore Seeing You So F**king Rock Some People Have It Worse Than Me Storm Ten-Foot Cock and a Few Hundred Virgins Thank You God The Adam Hillsong The Fence The Good Book The Hammer The Pope Song The Song For Phil Daoust White Wine In The Sun You Grew On Me YouTube lament
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