Half Way Up Virginia
Ivor Biggun

Now I'm just an old hillbilly boy,nI aint no city slicker,nMy interests is incest bestiality and liquor.nnI live on grits and catfish that muck around in the fountains,nAnd I'm just a cunt... cunt... country boy,nand I fuck around in the mountains.nnBut I've been down in Georgia, I've been in Caroline,nI've been in both their sisters, and the hole in the lonesome pine.nBeen in and out of Charlotte and her husbands after meeeeee.nBut half way up Virginia is where I wanna be.nYea, half way up Virginia is where I wanna be.nnNow I've got fifty sweethearts,nThey think that I'm a star,nOne of 'em says 'Oh baby',nAnd the rest of them say 'Baa'.nYou can depend on a four legged friend,nAnd when I go out bonking,nI dress that sheep in a gingham gown,nand take her honkey-tonkin'.nnTwo to the left,nTwo to the right,nHooves together,nAnd docey doe.nnI needn't buy no new fur coat,n'Cos she's got one that's curly,nJust a jug or two of mountain dew,nAnd turnips for my girly.nnI've stuffed my tool in a Georgia mule,nBut I give them cows a miss,n'Cos you feel such a cunt runnin' round to the front,nWhen you want to give 'em a kiss.nnBut I've been in Alberta, I've been chasin' beaver,nHad a pokey in Mistokey with a three legged golden retriever.nI've been through Mississippi and her husbands after meeeeee,nBut halfway up Virginia is where I wanna be,nYea, halfway up Virginia is where I wanna be.nnHad a bunk up with a skunk up,nWhere the blue grass blooms,nHad a good fuck from a woodchuck,nAnd polecats and racoons.nnA hound-dog and a groundhog,nA possum up a tree,nAnd everything that bleats and barks and can't run faster than me. Yahoo!nnThey're playin' my tune!nnNow down the creek lives Lulu Belle,nShe's a virgin and I believe her,nBut if she ain't good enough for her own kin folk,nShe ain't good enough for me neither!nnI've had all critters great and small,nIn the hills of Tennessee,nAnd every last one is female,n'Cos there ain't nothing strange about me!nnAnd I've yodelled down the canyon on both sides of Caroline,nAnd I'll grow very handsome if her brother doesn't mind.nI've messed around in buffalo from sea to shining seeeeeeeeea,nBut halfway up Virginia is where I wanna be,nYea, halfway up Virginia is where I wanna be,nYea, halfway up Virginia is where I wanna be.nnYodelleeeo,nYodelleeeo,nYodelleeee.

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