How Do You Milk a Cow
Cledus T. Judd

Parody of How Do You Like Me Now by Toby Keith (Toby Keith/Chuck Cannon) Tokeco Tunes/Wacissa River Music (admin. by MRBI) (BMI)
New lyrics by Cledus T. Judd/Chris Clark, Cledus Crap Anthems (SESAC)/Of Music, Inc. (SESAC)

Yeah I was always the lazy one,
A Southern Californian,
But I've got some kinfolk on the Mason-Dixon line.
So this summer just for fun
Hopped in my DeLorean
And headed for my uncle's farm for a short time.

I thought that I would be huntin' and fishin'.
I misunderstood him somehow.
So far there's nothin' but chores here to mention.
I didn't mind feedin the sows.

But HOW DO YOU MILK A COW?
How do you milk a cow?
I wasn't in FFA.
This cow must think i'm crazy
Up under it this way.
I'm sittin' here a pullin', but there ain't nothin' comin' out.
Oh E I E I O...
How do you milk a cow?

Yeah I love it here in Tennesse,
But these farmers all make fun of me.
Can't haul much hay in a tiny sports car.
So I got myself a 4 wheel drive,
Learned to spotlight deer at night,
And I've got shearin' sheep right down to an art.

One thing's for sure,
I hate shovelin' manure,
It gets all over my overalls.
Them horses need shoein'
I hear Bessie mooin'.
So I thought maybe I'd ask you all.

HOW DO YOU MILK A COW?
How do you milk a cow?
I think it's safe to say
A man could get arrested for this in LA
This heifer must be empty 'cause she ain't puttin out.
Oh E I E I O,
Tell me how do you milk a cow.

(Spoken)
This song is absolutely an udder disaster.
I hope I don't get mad cow diease.

How do you milk a cow?
I no longer care.
I'm gettin sick and tired of smellin' dairy air.
I'm headin' back to Cali
And I'm turnin' in my plow.
Oh E I E I O.
How do you milk a cow?


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Lyrics by Cledus T. Judd

  (If I Had) Kellie Pickler's Boobs   (She's Got A Butt) Bigger Than The Beatles   1-900-Sheila   1/2   104 Amanda Street   270 Somethin'   A Night I Can't Remember   All I Want For Christmas Is Two Gold Front Teef   Bake Me A Country Ham   Breath   Breath [Multimedia Track]   Cadirac Style   Christ-Mas   Christ-Mas [*][Multimedia Track]   Christmas In Rehab   Cledus Don't Stop Eatin' for Nuthin'   Cledus T.   Cledus the Karaoke King   Cledus Went Down To Florida   Cledus' Christmas Ball   Cooter   Coronary Life   Dang It, I'm Vixen   Did I Shave My Back for This   Did I Shave My Back for This?   Don't Mess With America   Don't Serve Beans   Double D Cups   Every Bulb in the House Is Blown   Every Light In The House Is Blown   Feel Like A Pawn Star   First Redneck On The Internet   Garth Must Be Busy   Gone Funky (Parody "Gone Country" - Alan Jackson)   Gone Funky (Parody of Gone Country by Alan Jackson...   Goodbye Squirrel   Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer   Grandpa Got Runned Over By A John Deere (Bonus Tra...   Hankenstein   Hazel's Homemade Hallelujah Punch   Hell No   Hillbilly Honeymoon   Hip Hop and Honky Tonk   I Love Nascar   I Was Country When Country Wasn't Pop   I'm Going Ugly Early Tonight   I'm Not In Here For Love (Just Yer Beer)   If George Strait Starts Dancin'   If Shania Was Mine   If Shania Was Mine (Parody "Any Man Of Mine" - Sha...   If Shania Was Mine [*][Multimedia Track]   If This Is Country Music   In Another Size   Indian In-Laws   It's A Great Day To Be A Guy   It's A Great Day To Be A Guy (Parody "It's A Great...   Jackson (Alan That Is)   Just Another Day In Paradise   Just Another Day In Parodies   Katie Bar The Door   Leave You Laughin'   Let's Burn One   Let's Shoot Dove   Livin' Like John Travolta   Man Of Constant Borrow   Martie, Emily & Natalie   Martie, Emily & Natalie (The Continuing Saga Of)   Merger On Music Row   Merry Christmas From The Whole Fam Damily   Merry Christmas From the Whole Fam Damily [*]   Mindy McCready   More Beaver   Motel Californie   My Cellmate Thinks I'm Sexy   My Cellmate Thinks I'm Sexy (Parody 'She Thinks My...   My Crowd   My Voice   Natalie   New Car   One Jack Off   Only 364 Shopping Days 'Til Christmas   Paycheck Woman   Please Take The Girl   Please Take The Girl (Parody "Don't Take The Girl...   Plowboy   Polyrically Uncorrect   Psychic to the Stars   Quit Teasin' Me Ed   Refried Beans   Ricky Tidwell's Mama Is Gonna Play Football   Riding With Inmate Jerome   Santa Claus Is Watchin' You   Shade Tree Mechanic   Shania I'm Broke   She's Inflatable   Starkissed   Stephon The Alternative Lifestyle Reindeer   Stinkin' Problem   Stoled: The Copyright Infringement Incidnent   Swingin'   The Change   The Grundy County Spitting Incident   The House That Broke Me   Third Rock from Her Thumb   Third Rock From Her Thumb (Parody "Third Rock From...   Third Rock From Her Thumb (Parody of Third Rock Fr...   Tree's On Fire   Waitin' On Obama   Washing Airplanes   We Own The World   What the *$@# Did You Say   What the xxxx Did You Say   Where the Grass Don't Grow   Where's Your Mommy?   Wife Naggin'   Willie's Got A Big Deck   Wives Do It All the Time   Wives Do It All The Time (Parody "Girls Do It All ...   Wives Do It All The Time (Parody of Girls Do It Al...   You Have No Right To Remain Violent

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