If That Ain't Country
David Allan Coe

The old man was covered in tattoos and scars;

He got some in prison and others in bars.

The rest, he got workin' on old junk cars...

In the daytime.

They looked like tombstones in our yard

And I never seen him when he wasn't tired

And mean.

He sold used parts to make ends meet

Covered with sweat in the Texas heat

And mosquitoes.

And the neighbors said we lived like hicks

But they brung their cars for Paw to fix

Anyhow.

He was veteran-proud - tried and true;

He'd fought till his heart was black and blue.

Didn't know how he'd made it through

The hard times.

He bought our house on the G. I. Bill

But it wasn't worth all he had to kill

To get it.

He drank Pearl in a can and Jack Daniels Black,

Chewed tobacco from a mail pouch sack,

Had an old dog that was trained to attack...

Sometimes.

He'd get drunk and mean as a rattlesnake

And there wasn't much that he would take

From a stranger.

There was thirteen kids and a bunch of dogs,

House full of chickens and a yard full of hogs;

Spent the summertime cuttin' up logs

For the winter.

Tryin' like the devil to find the Lord;

Workin' like a nigger for my room and board;

Coal-burnin' stove - no natural gas -

If that ain't 'Country', I'll kiss your ass.

If that ain't 'country', it'll hair-lip the Pope.

If that ain't 'country', it's a damn good joke.

I've seen the Grand Ol' Opry, and I've met Johnny Cash.

If that ain't 'Country', I'll kiss your ass.


Momma sells eggs at the grocery store.

My oldest sister is a first-rate whore.

Dad says she can't come home anymore

And he means it.

Ma just sits and keeps her silence.

Sister, she left 'cause Dad got violent

And he knows it.

Momma, she's old far beyond her times,

Choppin' tobacco and I seen her cryin'

When blood started flowin' from her callused hands

And it hurt me.

She'd just keep workin' - tryin' to help the old man

Till the end of one row then back again

Like always.

She's been through Hell since Junior went to jail.

When the lights go out she ain't never failed

To get down on her knees and pray

Because she loves him.

Told all the neighbors he off in the war

Fightin' for freedom and he's good to the core

And she's proud.

Now, our place was a graveyard for automobiles.

At the end of the porch there was four stacks of wheels

And tires for sale for a dollar or two

Cash.

There was fifty holes in our old tin roof,

Me and my family was livin' proof

That people who forgot about poor white trash,

And if that ain't 'Country', I'll kiss your ass.

If that ain't 'country', it'll hair-lip the Pope.

If that ain't 'country', it's a damn good joke.

I've seen the Grand Ol' Opry, and I've met Johnny Cash.

If that ain't 'Country', I'll kiss your ass.

An' I'm thinkin' tonight of my blue eyes,

And flyin' with the gray speckled bird.

I didn't know God made honky-tonk angels

And went back to the wild side of life.


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Lyrics by David Allan Coe

  Bad Impressions   Houston, Dallas, San Antone   "Willie, Waylon And Me"   \u00b459 Cadillac \u00b4 57 Chevy   3 Biggest Lies In The World   33rd Of August   59 Cadillac, 57 Chevrolet   A Sad Country Song   A Satisfied Mind   A Satisfied Mind (Hayes & Rhodes)   A Sense of Humor   ´59 Cadillac ´ 57 Chevy   Ain't It Funny Love Can Do Ya   Ain't It Funny The Way Love Can Do Ya   Ain't Worth the Powder   Ain't It Funny The Way Love Can Do Ya   Ain't Worth The Powder   Another Pretty Country Song   As Far As This Feeling Will Take Us   Atlanta Song   Back to Atlanta   Blue Grass Morning   Bossier City   Bright Morning Light   Call Me the Breeze   Canteen Of Water   Castles in the Sand   Cheap Thrills   Child of God   Cocaine Carolina   Crazy Mary   Cum Stains on the Pillow   D-R-U-N-K   Daddy Was A God Fearin' Man   Daddy Was A God Fearin' Man   Dakota (the Dancing Bear) (part Ii)   Dakota The Dancing Bear   Dakota the Dancing Bear, Pt. 2   David Alan Coe   Dear Penis   Desparados Waiting for a Train   Desperados Waiting For A Train   Desperados Waiting For The Train   Devil Went To Jamaica   Divers Do It Deeper   Don't Be a Stranger   Don't Bite the Dick   Even After Forever   Face To Face   Fairytale Morning   Fall in Love With You   Family Album   Family Reunion   Fish Aren't Biting Today   Fish Aren't Biting Today   Follow Me   For Lovers Only   For Lovers Only (IV)   For Lovers Only (part Iii)   For Lovers Only, Part III (With John McEuen)   For Your Precious Love   Frau Lein   Fraulein   Free Born Rambling Man   Free My Mind   Fu*k Aneta Briant   Fuckin in the Butt   Fuzzy Was an Outlaw   Fuzzy Was An Outlaw (David Allen Coe)   Get A Little Dirt On   Get a Little Dirt on Your Hands   Give My Love to Rose   Give My Love To Rose (Johnny Cash)   Gone (Like)   Got You on My Mind   Got You On My Mind (Joe Thomas & Howard Biggs)   Gotta Serve Somebody   Gotta Serve Somebody (With Lacy J. Dalton)   Great Nashville Railroad Desister   Greener Than the Grass We Laid on   Guilty Footsteps   Hank Williams Junior   Hank Williams Junior Junior   Hank Williams Junior-Junior   He's Taking It Hard She's Taking It Easy   He's Taking It Hard She's Taking It Easy   Headed for the Country   Heads or Tails   Heavenly Father Holy Mother   Heavenly Father, Holy Mother   Hey Gypsy   Honey Don't   Honey Don't   House We've Been Calling Home   House We've Been Calling Home   Houston Dallas Or San Antone   Human Emotions   I Can't Let You Be a Memory   I Could Never Give You Up (for Someone Else)   I Love Robbin' Banks   I Still Sing the Old Songs   I'll Always Be a Fool for You   I'm Gonna Hurt Her On The Radio   I've Given Bout All I Can Take   I've Got Something to Say   I've Got To Have You   I'll Always Be A Fool For You   I'm Gonna Hurt Her On The Radio   I've Given Bout All I Can Take   I've Got Something To Say   I've Got To Have You   If I Could Climb The Walls Of This Bottle   If I Knew   If That Ain't Country   If That Ain't Country - Part 2   If That Ain't Country - Part 2   If This Is Just a Game   If You Ever Think Of Me At All   If You'll Hold the Ladder   If You'll Hold The Ladder (I'll Climb To The Top)   If You'll Hold The Ladder   It's Great to Be Single Again   It's Great To Be Single Again   Jack Daniel's, If You Please   Jack Daniels If You Please   Jimmy Buffett   Jody Like a Melody   Juanita   Just Divorced   Just In Time (To Watch Love Die)   Just To Prove My Love For You   Just To Prove My Love To You   Laid Back and Wasted   Lately I've Been Thinking Too Much Lately   Lately I've Been Thinking Too Much Lately   Linda Lovelace   Little Orphan Annie   Little Suzzie Shallow Throat   Living on the Run   London Homesick Blues   Loneliness in Ruby's Eyes   Loneliness In Ruby's Eyes   Long Haired Red Neck   Long Haired Redneck   Longhaired Redneck   Looking in the Mirror   Lost   Love Is a Never Ending War   Love Is Just a Porpoise   Love Is Just A Porpoise (Playing In The Tropical S...   Love's Cheatin' Line, (She Finally Crossed Over)   Love's Cheatin' Line, (She Finally Cross...   Loves Cheatin Line   Lovin' You Comes So Natural   Loving Her (Will Make You Lose Your Mind)   Loving You Comes So Natural   Lyin' Comes So Easy to Your Lips   Maria Is A Mystery   Marijuanaville   Mary Magdeline   Mary Magdeline (David Allen Coe)   Masterbation Blues   Meanwhile Back in Memphis   Merle and Me   Million Dollar Memories   Missin' the Kid   Mississippi River Queen   Mona Lisa Lost Her Smile   Mona Lisa's Lost Her Smile   Need a Little Time Off for Bad Behavior   Nigger Fucker   Nigger Hating Me   Niggerhatin' Me   Nothin Sacred   Now I Lay Me Down to Cheat   Now's the Time   Now's The Time   Old Grey Goose Is Dead   Old Man Tell Me   On My Feet Again   One More Time   Panheads Forever   Pick Em, Lick Em, Stick Em   Pick Em, Lick Em' Stick Em   Pick Em, Lick Em' Stick Em   Piece of Wood and Steel   Play Me A Sad Song   Please Come To Boston   Pledging My Love   Punkin Center Barn Dance   Purple Heart   Pussy Whipped Again   Rails   Revenge   Ride 'em Cowboy   Ride 'em Cowboy   Ride Me Down Easy   River   Rock And Roll Holiday   Rollin With the Punches   Rollin' With The Punches   Rose Knows   Rough Rider   Sad Country Song   San Francisco Mabel Joy   Sense Of Humor   Seven Mile Bridge   Shackles and Chains   She Used to Love Me a Lot   Shine It on   Sittin' On The Dock Of The Bay   Sittin' On The Dock Of The Bay   Six Days On The Road   Snowblind Friend   Someplace To Come When It Rains   Son of a Rebel Son   Son Of The South   Southern Man   Southern Star   Spotlight   Stand By Your Man   Storms Never Last   Sudden Death   Suicide   Sweet Angeline   Sweet Vibrations (Some Folks Call It Love)   Take It Easy Rider   Take This Job and Shove It   Take This Job And Shove It Too   Take Time To Know Her   Tanya Montana   Tennessee Whiskey   Texas Lullaby   That Old Time Feeling   That Old Time Feeling (Guy Clark)   The 33rd of August   The Devil Went Down To Jamaica   The Fish Aren't Bitin' Today   The Great Nashville Railroad Disaster   The Old Grey Goose Is Dead   The Punkin Center Barn Dance   The Purple Heart   The Ride   The Ride (1983)   The Rodeo Song   These Days (Jackson Browne)   Thief In My Bedroom   This Bottle   This Bottle (In My Hand)   Three Time Loser   Tomorrow Is Another Day   Under Rachel's Wings   Under Rachel's Wings   We Got a Bad Thing Goin'   We Got A Bad Thing Goin'   West Virginia Man   What Can I Do   What Made You Change Your Mind   When She's Got Me   When She's Got Me (Where She Wants Me)   When She's Got Me   When She's Got Me (Where She Wants Me)   Whips and Things   Whiskey And Woman   Whiskey And Women   Whiskey, Whiskey (Take My Mind)   White Line Fever   Whole Lot Of Lonesome   Why Me   Why Me (Kris Kristofferson)   Why You Been Gone So Long   Why You Been Gone So Long (Mickey Newbury)   Will you remember me?   Willie Waylon And Me   Willie Waylon And Me (reprise)   Would Lay With Me (In A Field Of Stone)   Would They Love Me Down in Shreveport   Would You Be My Lady   Would You Lay with Me   Would You Lay With Me (in A Field Of Stone)   X's and O's (Kisses and Hugs)   X's And O's (Kisses And Hugs)   You Can Count On Me   You Never Called Me By My Name   You Never Even Call Me by My Name   You Never Even Called Me by My Name   You Never Even Called Me By My Name (1975)   You'll Always Live Inside Of Me   You'll Always Live Inside Of Me   Young Dallas Cowboy

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