Right about now…
You're about to hear the tales of…
The companion Rose Tyler…
And her adventures with the Doctor!
[Hit it!]
(beat kicks in, with [Jack: Yes!], [Rose: Woo!], samples)
It takes Who to make a thing go right!
It takes Who to make it out of sight!
It takes Who to make a thing go right!
It takes Who to make it out of sight! [Hit it!]
I am the Doc right now.
[Rose: Doctor Who?] Exactly! I get down!
I am intergalacticly known
From my home, on back to ancient Rome,
To Alpha Centauri, then back to Cardiff.
Come along with me, inside the TARDIS
Time And Relative Dimensions In Space.
I'll take a Dalek, and put him in his place.
I am the Time Wars' last survivor
With my psychic paper and sonic screwdriver.
See deep space, the future and past,
Other dimensions, it's a blast!
It's fantastic!
It takes Who to make a thing go right!
It takes Who to make it out of sight!
It takes Who to make a thing go right!
It takes Who to make it out of sight! [Hit it!]
I am the Doctor, got a real hottie sidekick.
Rose Tyler, a smart and sassy Brit chick.
Use her pouty lips, to make snarky quips.
We hit London, and eat some fish and chips.
Skinned Cassandra Obrien, she liked fame.
She was the culprit, but also she was framed.
Zipperhead Slitheen, those villians
Are Raxacoricofallapatorians!
So when they dealt it, Harriet smelt it.
I lit a match and blew them up like the Gelth did.
My Blue Box, is fab mod hip gear.
Retro rocket, that's known to just disappear.
It's high-tech, forget about Star Trek.
More square footage than Picard's stupid Holodeck.
We'll explode Mighty Jagrafess Ho-
-ly Hadrojassic Maxarodenfoe!
It takes Who to make a thing go right!
It takes Who to make it out of sight!
It takes Who to make a thing go right!
It takes Who to make it out of sight! [Hit it!]
The situation that this spacer's in:
When faced with death I undergo regeneration.
When I wake up I feel and look like a new man.
How many times have I done it? Say, nine or ten.
Rose is the Bad Wolf, she saw the time vortex.
Captain Harkness is always wantin' more sex.
A quick snog, Jackie offers egg nog.
Mickey the idiot will say he's not the tin dog.
Speaking of which, I'll visit Sara Jane Smith.
K-9 will live, and speak! [K-9: Affirmative!]
I fight the Wire, the Ood, the Beast,
I stopped the Empress of the Racnoss' feast.
I am a Timelord, but right now since I'm bored,
Check out these lyrics and call me the rhyme lord!
It takes Who to make a thing go right!
It takes Who to make it out of sight!
It takes Who to make a thing go right! (Dalek's speak over second half of chorus)
It takes Who to make it out of sight! [Hit it!]
Dalek 1: THIS AUDIO TRANSMISSION INSUFFICIENTLY MENTIONS THE DALEKS!
Dalek 2: YOU WILL DISCUSS DALEK SUPREMICY!
Dalek 1: YOU MUST OBEY!
Dalek 2: OBEY!
Dalek 1: DALEKS REPRESENT!… REPRESENT!…
Dalek 2: REPRESENT!… REPRESENT!…
At Torchwood in Canary Wharf
They might know the location of Red Dwarf.
Protect the British Empire.
Saw the Sycorax, they aimed and fired.
They do things, that make me annoyed a bit.
They found a void ship, a spheroid rip
In, our dimension, when [Cybermen: Delete!]
All the ghosts are Cybermen!
Parallel Earth, Lumic knew how.
Phone Ear Buds, [Devo Spice: SO CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW?!]
Too late, zombie brigade,
Chop out your brain, get an upgrade!
Daleks in the sphere, now they're here, run in fear!
The limey fanboys waited for years
To see this showdown! Was this fate, mate?
Will they delete, or [Dalek: Exterminate!]
Wait! Before it's too late!
Let's cancel this de-bate! Great!
Into the rift, Daleks and Cybermen, their defeat swirled.
Rose almost fell, but now she's safe in Pete's world.
Said goodbye, faded away and cried.
Suddenly there was a runaway bride?
What happens next, hey don't ask me.
Cause it's all up to the B B C!
It takes Who to make a thing go right!
It takes Who to make it out of sight!
It takes Who to make a thing go right!
It takes Who to make it out of sight!
Dalek 1: WHEN I COUNT TO THREE, I ORDER YOU TO GET BUSY NOW!
ONE, TWO, THREE, DALEKS-
[Samples: Exterminate!
Ex-Ex-Exterminate!
Ex-Ex-Exterminate!
Exterminate! Exterminate!
Moist-Moist-Moist-Moisturize me!
Moist-Moist-Moist-Moisturize me!
Are-Are-Are you my Mummy? Are you my Mummy?
Muum-myy!
Fan-Fan-Fantastic!
Fan-Fan-Fantastic!
Fan-Fan-Fantastic!
Have-Have-Have-Have a fantastic life.]
(fade out)