going to sleep wired and waking up tired and walking around lifeless and lost. slipping through consciousness, formulate a catalyst. motions to measure the cost. failing every prayer that i know. surfacing scars from a past that i cannot recall. when there is no feeling, there is no feeling. the meaning just fails to be seen, faking it. faking it. faking your life. anything just to feel it. speech is slurred. tongue is tied. the brain is empty but still on my side. feeling is lost. solemn and soft. trying to take this vacant face off. looking for touch. looking for skin. looking for anything to put my heart in. looking something. looking for more. i've never been this bored before.