How did I let this happen? Let myself slip back into the role of victim. Thought I'd left that all way-back-when. While forgetting Grace, I increased my own tragedy.
Fallen back into the how-could-this-have-happened-to-me's. Like some melancholy play that no one paid to see, I'm directing on anyway.
It seems we have this sickness. A misconception, if you will. That once we've triumphed over something. It lays in the dust, eternal, never to breathe again, but that's not the way this works. Reflections of what haunt us will take on new forms in the end. The likes of which we'd not yet seen, how quickly our hearts fill with dread. Yeah, it rains on the righteous as well as the wicked, but some afflictions can feel like death.
I've fallen back into the how-could-this-have-happened-to-me's. Like some melancholy play that no one paid to see. I'm directing on anyway.
We either fight or flee. Which one's it gonna be? Realize it's an old demon in a new disguise. I hope you stand up tall to face him, pray you have the strength to look him in his eyes. Scream loud in proclamation. I've seen your kind before, G-d, I let the signs fly right on by. Waited till my spirit was laid low, but now my eyes are open wide. This time I see right through your lies. You've tried to put me in the ground before, extinguish my light. I've got the scars to show for it, but what was once a reminder of death is now an affirmation of life. Because I took the worst you threw at me, and damn it, I survived. So get behind me, devil. I refuse to let myself be bound. I won't adhere to mental slavery. Even while your torments abound, Depart from me!
I swear there's a strength inside you. A faint whisper calling you to be brave. And the next time it seems the darkest, Like you couldn't possibly be saved, stripped of all comfort and weak. I hope you face your adversary, and find you're stronger than you think.