I met a girl called IannShe was a EuropeannI guess I wasn’t seein’ too straightnI left my friends behind menI knew that they would find menI’m greatnYa ya yannI met a girl called PhyllisnShe talked like Dobie GillisnAnd Willis Reed was her favorite KnicknI told her she was gorgeousnHeard all about the BourgesnI’m sicknYa ya yannI never thought I was the king of my mennI never wanted eleven because I always got tennIf I tell someone do it over then they do it againnI never ever come on silly or oddnI never liked the competition so I don’t worship GodnI’m never stupid or mistaken or a jerk or a clodnOh yeahnnI met a girl called RiflenShe changed her name to TriflenHer life all bright and now with a “T”nWe lay out in the gardennI tried to beg her pardonnI’m freenYa ya yannI never ever come on silly or oddnI never liked the competition so I don’t worship GodnI’m never stupid or mistaken or a jerk or a clodnI never laugh at you or sing mere “o”snI know you said nobody’s perfect but I figure I’m closenSomebody said I was a trifle verbosenYeah I don't carenI can do anything I want tonAnytime I want tonAnywhere I want to