It's not just the robes that you wear
It's not a scent of incense in your hair
It's not all the girls that you can get
It's not all the cardinals that you've met
It's more than you could ever see
Just hanging 'round the sacristy
You're picture's in The Pilot all the time
In the Easter reading, you say Pilate's lines
Oi! Oi oi deacon
Put my name down on that list
Oi! Oi oi deacon
Think of all the hosts that I could get
I know the priests must all be jealous
C'mon pal, you can tell us
You've got all of the church's keys
You can roam around just as you please
I wanna take a sauna with the bishop
During the procession, my heart will lift up
I wanna heal the sick each and every night
C'mon, we'll get drunk on the blood of Christ
Oi! Oi oi deacon
Put my name down on that list
Oi! Oi oi deacon
Think of all the hosts that I could get
Oi! Oi oi deacon
Raise that chalice and hold it high
Oi! Oi oi deacon
The holy water's never dry
Oi! Oi oi deacon
Put my name down on that list
Oi! Oi oi deacon
Think of all the hosts that I could get