In the area where I live, nthere's only one brer that is fit.nHe looks like Usher but he chats about shit, ngot a big dick he don't know what to do with it.nI invited him kindly to my house, nhe accepts my invite then blows me out!nMust have some Jezzie coming round, spreading her legs and getting down.nThis is not a love thing, it's just about sexnThat to me is no respect,nSo I blank his calls and I blank his texts nJust to let the brer know I was vexednHe's on a long ting son,nGots to go elsewhere if he wants some, He can kiss me up but he won't get none, nThis is when a girl gets called no fun.nnTonight is my bredren's party,nI like his workmates 'cos they're vair arty,nThey're care 'bout more things than just getting dirty,nAnd they like me cos I'm well flirtynnBut who? Whoops! There he is!nUsher look-alike, out on the piss.nGrinding up some next man's missus,nShould keep his hands to himself I think.nTasha, Keisha, Shanai and MonanThink that the brer's a begger friend loner.nAnd a bit dodgy 'cos he drinks Corona, but I think I'll drink it too when I'm older, and more cultured, 'cos it's foreign, ain't it?nnLater as the party heats up, I'm sipping my rum out of a paper cup,nEyeing up the fly-bois dancin' well-rude to some local boy's garage tune.nUsher-boi steps next to me, whispers he wants to chat with me, seenI was drunk and feeling silly, everybody in the club's getting tipsy.nHe holds my hand well smoothly and says he wants to move me,nLists all the things he could do to me- doggy style or me giving him a blow job...and that was it, really.nn“I like you, you know, I’ll take care of you girl, take you on a magic carpet, trippin’ round the world.nI love my ladies but you could hold me down. Come on cheeky turn that frown upside-down.”nI got no time for you boy, why you chat out your arse? Why you always stepping next to me, you’re too fast. Can’t you just leave it with things the way they are? Your face is always in my grill, can’t you fix up, star?nn“I love you, girl.”n“No, you don’t.”n“I need you, girl.”n“Soon you won’t.” n“Love me, girl! Please I’m real. Ain’t a brer allowed to express the way he truly feels?”nn“It ain’t the way you feel, and I know that now. ‘Cos when I saw you in Footlocker you was standing in a crowd. And in front of big mans, you don’t chat to me, but when you’re on your jays, you’re there texting me.”n“Don’t go basing our relationship on others. See, this is what I hate about you, I’ve discovered. You’re on a long ting, you care too much what people think, when all I wanna do is buy you Kickers in blue, caramel and pink.”nnSee, this is when things get hard,nI need to tell you a story and it is dark.n‘Cos I had a pair of Kickers that got jacked from my yard. Some dog-girl cam eover who I thought was a friend, she borrowed my crepes, I never saw her again- liberties, I know. nnThree years later and things are sick, I’m living in Kennington and it’s wicked.nUsher’s done for dealing even though he don’t deal but I got a baby now, so at least I can appeal.nNext day in Brixton, in the hair shop, I recognised the next girl, she’s from Topshop.nShe comes over to me, drags out my extensions, I thought she was on crack and craving attention. nBut she blaze me boi, ‘cos I stole her man. Usher’s her baby father and I was like SLAM! nnI didn’t believe her bullshit and I went to Maccy D’s and bought a chocolate milkshake, and drank it on my jays. nAnd then I realised-it was probably true. Usher-boi’s got a reputation that I tried to see through.nI finished my milkshake, put my daughter in her buggy, put a bit of milkshake onto her dummy. nUsher-boi can stay in jail-boy, he’s a loss, but oh, my gosh-I got a promotion at Argos!