can you watch your fear grow? nnan inextinguishable belief upon past life.nnor will you become so attached nnto the one perceive that will cause you to grownnbut will not love you back.nnso you bury youself. so obsessed,nnso depressed with success,nnand never have the time you'll need to take whats left.nnto compare ourselvesnnis there no shame? no shame in infliction of mass pain and guilt.nnguilt is the sign to justificate and condemnate.nnthe violence anger and fear: is this the ideal or just the actual?nnaddicted to fear of growing old.nnaddicted to the present moment as my passions explode.nnaddicted to another's mind-body-control.nnyou've got a mind?nni've got a mind of my ownnnso i'll explore all the reasons why this world,nnit moves, it only moves in reversennsurroundings that manipulate our lives.nnso i'll keep one eye on the self,nnand the other on what drives.nnthis is my life. i must expose myself to myself.