Sister Josephine
Jake Thackray

Oh, Sister Josephine,nWhat do all these policemen meannBy coming to the convent in a grim limousinenAfter Sister Josephine?nWhile you, Sister Josephine,nYou sit with your boots up on the altar screen.nYou smoke one last cigar.nWhat a funny nun you are!nnThe policemen say that Josephine's a burglar in disguise,nBig bad Norman - fifteen years on the run.nThe sisters disbelieve it: No, that can't be Josephine;nJust think about her tenderness towards the younger nuns.nnOh, Sister Josephine,nThey're searching the chapel where you've been seen,nThe nooks and the crannies of the nun's canteennAfter Sister Josephine.nWhile you, Sister Josephine,nYou sip one farewell BenedictinenBefore your au revoir.nA right funny nun you are!nnAdmittedly her hands are big and hairynAnd embellished with a curious tattoo.nAdmittedly her voice is on the deep side,nAnd she seems to shave more often than the other sisters do.nnOh, Sister Josephine,nFounder of the convent pontoon team,nThey're looking through your bundles of rare magazinesnAfter Sister Josephine.nWhile you, Sister Josephine,nYou give a goodbye sniff of benzedrinenTo the convent budgerigar.nA bloody funny nun you are!nnNo longer will her snores ring through the chapel during prayers,nNor her lustful moanings fill the stilly night.nNo more empty bottles of altar wine come clunking from her cell.nNo longer will the cloister toilet seat stand upright.nnOh, Sister Josephine,nSlipping through their fingers like Vaseline,nLeaving them to clutch your empty crinolinenAfter Sister Josephine.nWhile you, Sister Josephine,nSprinting through the suburbs when last seennDressed only in your wimple and your rosary.nA right funny nun you seem to be!

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Lyrics by Jake Thackray

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