The Interview
Judy Garland

(Reporters) We are here to interview a lady known to you because of her ability as the glamorous, amorous lady they call...

(Butler) She's expecting you gentlemen, won't you please come in?

(Reporters) Now we don't mean Greta and we don't mean Bette or Loretta or the Song of Bernadetta. We mean the fabulous, fabulous lady they call...

(Butler) The other gentlemen are here. Please come in.

(Reporters) She's new; she's perfection; she's headlines; she's hot! And in advance the critics are all in accord - she's gonna win the next academy award. All her fans will be delighted, not to mention quite excited at her personal appearance presently. She's stupendious, tremendious, collosical, teriffical, she's got it! But, definitely! The glamorous, amorous lady they call...

(Judy) Flibbins, what is all this?

(Butler) The gentlemen of the press, my lady.

(Judy) Darlings! How utterly charming of you to have dropped in like this! How delightfully informal of you to have dropped in like this! I mean, how perfectly marvelous of you to have... Well, you have dropped in, haven't you? And I... Well, gentlemen, you have caught me pitifully unprepared. And now, you may rise. And now, you may rise... Up, up! Come, get up, get up, get up, get up! Let's get on with it. There, now, that's better, isn't it?

(Reporters) babbling, murmuring...

(Judy) Gentlemen of the press... members of the fourth estate... What can I do for you? Tell me, pray do.

(Reporters) Oh glamorous lady, oh amorous lady, oh hamorous lady, here's to you. And humbly we're here to... Quite mumbly we're here to... Hum-drumly we're here to interview you. We're here to pry into your private life. We're here to seek your every secret. We're here to scoop a scoop, obviously. What is your next vehicle to be?

(Judy) This is much too much. A sort of a bit of a go and touch. But, confidentially, gentelmen - and this is off the record of course...

(Reporters) Of course!

(Judy) But, about my next picture - I'm faced with a curious problem. Shall I always be dramatic, biographically emphatic? Should I devote my life to the legitimate art? Or should I do what I'd adore so, do my acting with my torso, and give all the natives a start? Must the roles I play be tragic, full of Oscar-winning magic, should I drink the cup of drama to it's dregs? Or do you think it is permissable to be for once quite kissable and give them a peep of my leg?

I'd like to be a pinup girl, a cheesecake girl too. And what is Ginger Rogers that I am not? And what has Betty Grable got that I haven't got? Oh, the cinema must exhibit me in roles that so inhibit me, I feel, well I feel just like a soldier out of step! There! But, would the episode outlive me, would my public quite forgive me if I tried to show the world I'm really hep? But, now you darlings, you adorable dear, dear boys, I'm going to tell you all about my next picture... What is my next picture? No, no, don't tell me! Don't tell me! Shhhh!

(shuffling through pile of manuscripts on table) Madame Crematante!

Madame Crematante, gentlemen, will be a monumental biographical tribute to a monumental biographical woman who toiled, searched, starved, slaved, suffered, pioneered so that the world - you and I - could reap the benefits of her magnificent discovery, the safety pin!

The story starts in a dark, dank, dingy tenement in Amsterdam, Holland you know, in the flat of a poor, impoverished family, but of rather good antecedants. Gretchen Crematante was a very brave and noble woman who, against the wishes of her father, the Baron, you know, married this young inventor who didn't have a sou! Penniless!

And there they were in Amsterdam!

(Reporters) In Amsterdam?

(Judy) Yes, there they were in a dark and dingy tenement flat with no food and no heat and no money for to pay the rent. But did they care?

(Reporters) No, they don't care!

(Judy) Madame Crematante, she don't care! 'cause she seen the light just the other day since then she been tryin' for to find a way for to bring to the world a big invent, and so she did!

(Reporters) And so she did!

(Judy) Whoop dee doodee, Madame Crematante did! She toiled and strived and sweat and slaved, a stretchin' her mind and beginnin' to rave, but the price she paid was worth the pain, for on a cold and frosty morn, the safety pin was born!

(Judy and Reporters) Halelujah, etc.

Shout Halelujah and a big amen for the lady with the safety pin. She really rocks about and gives what more do you want?

Hallelujah, etc.


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Lyrics by Judy Garland

  (Dear Mr. Gable) You Made Me Love You   A Pretty Girl Milking Her Cow   A Cottage For Sale   A Couple of Swells   A Fella with an Umbrella   A Foggy Day   A Pretty Girl Milking a Cow   A Pretty Girl Milking Her Cow   After You've Gone   After You've Gone   All God's Chillun Got Rhythm   All God's Chillun Got Rhythm   All Through the Day   Almost Like Being In Love   Almost Like Being In Love \/ This Can't Be Love (M...   Almost Like Being In Love\/This Can't Be Love   Alone   Alone Together   America The Beautiful   Among My Souvenirs   April Showers   April Showers (Digitally Remastered 96)   Aren't You Kinda Glad We Did   Aren't You Kinda Glad We Did   Battle Hymn of the Republic   Be a Clown   Beautiful Trouble   Better Luck Next Time   Bidin' My Time   Blues In The Night   Blues in the Night [AlternateTake]   Bob White (Won't Ya Come Swing Tonight)   Bob White (Won't Ya Come Swing Tonight)   Boys and Girls Like You and Me   Buds Won't Bud   Buds Won't Bud   By Myself   By Myself (Digitally Remastered 96)   Carolina In The Morning   Chicago   Chicago (That Toddling Town)   Chin Up! Cheerio! Carry On!   Come Rain Or Come Shine   Come Rain Or Come Shine (1996 Digital Remaster)   Come Rain or Come Shine [Live]   Come Rain or Come Shine [Performed Live On the Ed ...   Comes Once In A Lifetime   Day In - Day Out (Digitally Remastered 96)   Day In-Day Out   Dear Mr. Gable (You Made Me Love You)   Do I Love You   Do It Again   Don't Bite the Hand That's Feeding You   Don't Bite The Hand That's Feeding You   Down On Melody Farm   Down With Love   Drummer Boy   Easter Parade   Easy To Love   Embracable You   Embraceable You {from Girl Crazy}   Everybody Sing   F.D.R. Jones   Fascinatin' Rhythm   Fascinatin' Rhythm   Fight   Fly Me To The Moon   For Me And My Gal   For Me and My Gal [*]   For Me and My Gal {from for Me and My Gal}   For You, For Me, Forever More   Franklin D. Roosevelt Jones   Friendly Star   Friendly Star [From Summer Stock]   Friendship   Friendship [From Du Barry Was A Lady]   From This Moment On   Get Happy   Get Happy!   Get Happy/Happy Days Are Here Again   Give My Regards To Broadway   Good Morning   Good Morning!   Gotta Have Me Go With You   Great Day   Happiness Is A Thing Called Joe   Happiness Is A Thing Called Joe (Digitally Remaste...   Happiness Is Just A Thing Called Joe   Happy Harvest   Happy New Year   Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas   Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas [*]   Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas [From Meet ...   Hello Bluebird   Hello Bluebird [From I Could Go On Singing]   Here's What I'm Here For   Hoe Down   How About Me?   How About You?   How Long Has This Been Going On   Howdy Neighbor   I Am Loved   I Can't Give You Anything But Love   I Can't Give You Anything But Love - Judy Garland   I Can't Give You Anything But Love (Digitally Rema...   I Can't Give You Anything But Love   I Could Go On Singing   I Could Go on Singing (Till the Cows Come Home) [F...   I Could Go On Singing [From I Could Go On Singing]   I Cried For You   I Got Rhythm   I Left My Heart In San Francisco   I Left My Heart in San Francisco [*]   I Left My Heart in San Francisco [DVD]   I Love A Piano   I Never Knew I Could Love Anybody Like I'm Loving ...   I Never Knew I Could Love Anybody Like I'm Lo...   I Was Born In Michigan   I Wish I Were In Love Again   I Wish You Love   I'm Always Chasing Rainbows   I'm Nobody's Baby   I've Got My Love To Keep Me Warm   I've Got Rhythm   I've Got The Sun In The Morning   I'm Always Chasing Rainbows   I'm Just Wild About Harry   I'm Nobody's Baby   I've Got My Love To Keep Me Warm   I've Got Rhythm   I've Got The Sun In The Morning   If I Had You   If I Love Again   If Love Were All   In Between   In The Valley (Where The Evening Sun Goes Down)   It Never Was You   It Never Was You [From I Could Go On Singing] [Alt...   It Only Happens When I Dance With You   It's A Great Big World   It's Love I'm After   It's A Great Big World   It's Love I'm After   Jitterbug   Joan Crawford   Johnny One Note (From 'Words And Music', 1948)   Johnny One Note (From 'Words And Music',...   Journey to a Star   Judy Garland Medley, No. 1: Hooray for Love/After ...   Just In Time   Just in Time [DVD]   Just in Time [Live]   Just You, Just Me   La Conga   Life Is Just A Bowl Of Cherries   Life Is Just A Bowl Of Cherries (Digitally Remaste...   Limehouse Blues   Little Drops Of Rain   Little Drops of Rain [From Gay Purr-ee]   Liza   Liza (All the Clouds Will Roll Away)   Londonderry Air (Danny Boy), folk song   Look for the Silver Lining   Look For The Silver Lining (From "Till The Clouds ...   Look For The Silver Lining (From "Till The Cl...   Love   Love [From Ziegfield Follies of 1936]   Love Of My Life   Lover Come Back to Me   Lucky Day   Mack The Black   Man That Got Away   Me And My Gal   Me And My Shadow (1996 Digital Remaster)   Mean To Me (Digitally Remastered 96)   Meet Me In St. Louis   Meet Me in St. Louis [*]   Meet Me Tonight in Dreamland   Merry Christmas   Minne From Trinidad   More Than You Know   More Than You Know (Digitally Remastered 96)   My Intuition   Nearness Of You, The   Nellie Kelly, I Love You   Oceans Apart   Old Devil Moon   Old Devil Moon (Digitally Remastered 96)   Old Man River   On The Atcheson, Topeka And The Sante Fe   On the Atchison, Topeka & The Santa Fe   On the Atchison, Topeka & The Santa Fe [From The H...   On the Atchison, topeka and the Sant Fe   On The Atchison, Topeka and the Santa Fe   On the Atchison, Topeka and the Santa Fe [*]   On The Atchison, Topeka And The Santa Fe [Alternat...   On the Atchison, Topeka and the Santa Fe [From the...   On the Atchison, Topeka and the Santa Fe [Studio E...   On the Atchison, Topeka, & The Santa Fe   On the Atchison, Topeka, And the Santa Fe [Excerpt...   On the Bumpy Road to Love   On the Sunny Side of the Street   Our Love Affair   Over The Rainbow   Over The Rainbow (1996 Digital Remaster)   Over The Rainbow (live)   Over the Rainbow [from Czarnoksieznik Z Oz]   Over the Rainbow [From the Wizzard of Oz]   Over the Rainbow [From Wizard of Oz]   Over the Rainbow {from the Wizard of Oz}   Palace Montage   Paris Is A Lonely Town   Poor Butterfly   Poor You   Pretty Baby [Radio Broadcast]   Pretty Girl Milking A Cow   Purple People Eater   Puttin' On The Ritz   Puttin' On The Ritz (1992 Digital Remaster)   Red Balloon   Rock A Bye Your Baby With A Dixie Melody   Rock-A-Bye Your Baby (With a Dixie Melody)   Rock-A-Bye Your Baby With A Dixie Melody   Rock-A-Bye Your Baby with a Dixie Melody [DVD]   Rock-A-Bye-Your-Baby, with a dixi melody   San Francisco   Shenandoah (Across the Wide Missouri)   Singin' In The Rain   Singin' In The Rain   Skip To My Lou   Sleep My Baby Sleep   Smile   Smiles   Snooky Ookums   Something to Remember You By   Somewhere Over the Rainbow   Somewhere Over The Rainbow   Speak Low   Stompin' At the Savoy   Stompin' At The Savoy   Stormy Weather   Stormy Weather (live)   Stormy Weather [*]   Stormy Weather [Alternate Take][#]   Sunny Side Up   Swanee   Swanne(carnegie hall version)   Swing Your Partner Round and Round   Taking A Chance On Love   Ten Pins In The Sky   That Old Black Magic   That Old Black Magic [From Star Spangled Rhythm]   That's All   That's All There Is   That's Entertainment   That's Entertainment! (Digitally Remastered 96)   That's The Good Old Sunny South   That's All   That's Entertainment   That's The Good Old Sunny South   The Boy Next Door   The Boy Next Door [*]   The Jitterbug   The Joint Is Really Jumpin' at Carnegie Hall   The Joint Is Really Jumpin' At Carnegie Hall   The Just In Time   The Man That Got Away   The Man That Got Away [Instrumental Partial Outtak...   The Man That Got Away [Live]   The Music That Makes Me Dance   The Once In A Lifetime   The Red Balloon (Alternate Take)   The Texas Tornado   The Trolley Song   The Trolley Song [*]   The Trolly Song [DVD]   The Wearing Of The Green   Then You've Never Been Blue   Then You've Never Been Blue   There's No Business Like Show Business   There's No Business Like Show Business   This Heart Of Mine [Alternate] [Alternate Take]   This Heart of Mine [From Ziegfield Follies]   This Is It   Time After Time   Together Wherever We Go   Tom, Tom, The Piper's Son   Tom, Tom, The Piper's Son   Trolley Song   Tzena, Tzena, Tzena   Under the Bamboo Tree   We're a Couple Of Swells   Wearing Of The Green   What Am I Here For?   What Now My Love?   When I Look At You   When Johnny Comes Marching Home   When My Sugar Walks Down the Street [#][*]   When the Midnight Choo Choo Leaves for Alabam'   When The Midnight Choo Choo Leaves For Alabam'...   When the Saints Go Marching In   When You Wore a Tulip (And I Wore a Big Red Rose) ...   When You Wore a Tulip (And I Wore a Red, Red Rose)   When You're Smiling   When You're Smiling (The Whole World Smiles With Y...   When You're Smiling   Whispering   Who Cares (As Long As You Care For Me) (1996 Digit...   Who Cares? (As Long As You Care For Me)   Who?   Why Was I Born?   Why Was I Born? [*]   Why Was I Born? [Alternate Take][#]   Yah-Ta-Ta, Yah-Ta-Ta   Yankee Doodle Boy   You Can't Have Ev'rything   You Do Something To Me   You Go To My Head   You Made Me Love You   You Made Me Love You (Dear Mr. Gable)   You Wonderful You   You Wonderful You (Reprise)   You'll Never Walk Alone   You're Nearer   You'll Never Walk Alone   You're Nearer   Zing Went The Strings Of My Heart   Zing! Went The Strings Of My Heart   Zing! Went The Strings Of My Heart (1996 Digital R...

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