(Reporters) We are here to interview a lady known to you because of her ability as the glamorous, amorous lady they call...(Butler) She's expecting you gentlemen, won't you please come in?(Reporters) Now we don't mean Greta and we don't mean Bette or Loretta or the Song of Bernadetta. We mean the fabulous, fabulous lady they call...(Butler) The other gentlemen are here. Please come in.(Reporters) She's new; she's perfection; she's headlines; she's hot! And in advance the critics are all in accord - she's gonna win the next academy award. All her fans will be delighted, not to mention quite excited at her personal appearance presently. She's stupendious, tremendious, collosical, teriffical, she's got it! But, definitely! The glamorous, amorous lady they call...(Judy) Flibbins, what is all this?(Butler) The gentlemen of the press, my lady.(Judy) Darlings! How utterly charming of you to have dropped in like this! How delightfully informal of you to have dropped in like this! I mean, how perfectly marvelous of you to have... Well, you have dropped in, haven't you? And I... Well, gentlemen, you have caught me pitifully unprepared. And now, you may rise. And now, you may rise... Up, up! Come, get up, get up, get up, get up! Let's get on with it. There, now, that's better, isn't it?(Reporters) babbling, murmuring...(Judy) Gentlemen of the press... members of the fourth estate... What can I do for you? Tell me, pray do.(Reporters) Oh glamorous lady, oh amorous lady, oh hamorous lady, here's to you. And humbly we're here to... Quite mumbly we're here to... Hum-drumly we're here to interview you. We're here to pry into your private life. We're here to seek your every secret. We're here to scoop a scoop, obviously. What is your next vehicle to be?(Judy) This is much too much. A sort of a bit of a go and touch. But, confidentially, gentelmen - and this is off the record of course...(Reporters) Of course!(Judy) But, about my next picture - I'm faced with a curious problem. Shall I always be dramatic, biographically emphatic? Should I devote my life to the legitimate art? Or should I do what I'd adore so, do my acting with my torso, and give all the natives a start? Must the roles I play be tragic, full of Oscar-winning magic, should I drink the cup of drama to it's dregs? Or do you think it is permissable to be for once quite kissable and give them a peep of my leg?I'd like to be a pinup girl, a cheesecake girl too. And what is Ginger Rogers that I am not? And what has Betty Grable got that I haven't got? Oh, the cinema must exhibit me in roles that so inhibit me, I feel, well I feel just like a soldier out of step! There! But, would the episode outlive me, would my public quite forgive me if I tried to show the world I'm really hep? But, now you darlings, you adorable dear, dear boys, I'm going to tell you all about my next picture... What is my next picture? No, no, don't tell me! Don't tell me! Shhhh!(shuffling through pile of manuscripts on table) Madame Crematante!Madame Crematante, gentlemen, will be a monumental biographical tribute to a monumental biographical woman who toiled, searched, starved, slaved, suffered, pioneered so that the world - you and I - could reap the benefits of her magnificent discovery, the safety pin!The story starts in a dark, dank, dingy tenement in Amsterdam, Holland you know, in the flat of a poor, impoverished family, but of rather good antecedants. Gretchen Crematante was a very brave and noble woman who, against the wishes of her father, the Baron, you know, married this young inventor who didn't have a sou! Penniless!And there they were in Amsterdam!(Reporters) In Amsterdam?(Judy) Yes, there they were in a dark and dingy tenement flat with no food and no heat and no money for to pay the rent. But did they care?(Reporters) No, they don't care!(Judy) Madame Crematante, she don't care! 'cause she seen the light just the other day since then she been tryin' for to find a way for to bring to the world a big invent, and so she did!(Reporters) And so she did!(Judy) Whoop dee doodee, Madame Crematante did! She toiled and strived and sweat and slaved, a stretchin' her mind and beginnin' to rave, but the price she paid was worth the pain, for on a cold and frosty morn, the safety pin was born!(Judy and Reporters) Halelujah, etc.Shout Halelujah and a big amen for the lady with the safety pin. She really rocks about and gives what more do you want?Hallelujah, etc.
Lyrics by Judy Garland
(Dear Mr. Gable) You Made Me Love You A Pretty Girl Milking Her Cow A Cottage For Sale A Couple of Swells A Fella with an Umbrella A Foggy Day A Pretty Girl Milking a Cow A Pretty Girl Milking Her Cow After You've Gone After You've Gone All God's Chillun Got Rhythm All God's Chillun Got Rhythm All Through the Day Almost Like Being In Love Almost Like Being In Love \/ This Can't Be Love (M... Almost Like Being In Love\/This Can't Be Love Alone Alone Together America The Beautiful Among My Souvenirs April Showers April Showers (Digitally Remastered 96) Aren't You Kinda Glad We Did Aren't You Kinda Glad We Did Battle Hymn of the Republic Be a Clown Beautiful Trouble Better Luck Next Time Bidin' My Time Blues In The Night Blues in the Night [AlternateTake] Bob White (Won't Ya Come Swing Tonight) Bob White (Won't Ya Come Swing Tonight) Boys and Girls Like You and Me Buds Won't Bud Buds Won't Bud By Myself By Myself (Digitally Remastered 96) Carolina In The Morning Chicago Chicago (That Toddling Town) Chin Up! Cheerio! Carry On! Come Rain Or Come Shine Come Rain Or Come Shine (1996 Digital Remaster) Come Rain or Come Shine [Live] Come Rain or Come Shine [Performed Live On the Ed ... Comes Once In A Lifetime Day In - Day Out (Digitally Remastered 96) Day In-Day Out Dear Mr. Gable (You Made Me Love You) Do I Love You Do It Again Don't Bite the Hand That's Feeding You Don't Bite The Hand That's Feeding You Down On Melody Farm Down With Love Drummer Boy Easter Parade Easy To Love Embracable You Embraceable You {from Girl Crazy} Everybody Sing F.D.R. Jones Fascinatin' Rhythm Fascinatin' Rhythm Fight Fly Me To The Moon For Me And My Gal For Me and My Gal [*] For Me and My Gal {from for Me and My Gal} For You, For Me, Forever More Franklin D. Roosevelt Jones Friendly Star Friendly Star [From Summer Stock] Friendship Friendship [From Du Barry Was A Lady] From This Moment On Get Happy Get Happy! Get Happy/Happy Days Are Here Again Give My Regards To Broadway Good Morning Good Morning! Gotta Have Me Go With You Great Day Happiness Is A Thing Called Joe Happiness Is A Thing Called Joe (Digitally Remaste... Happiness Is Just A Thing Called Joe Happy Harvest Happy New Year Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas [*] Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas [From Meet ... Hello Bluebird Hello Bluebird [From I Could Go On Singing] Here's What I'm Here For Hoe Down How About Me? How About You? How Long Has This Been Going On Howdy Neighbor I Am Loved I Can't Give You Anything But Love I Can't Give You Anything But Love - Judy Garland I Can't Give You Anything But Love (Digitally Rema... I Can't Give You Anything But Love I Could Go On Singing I Could Go on Singing (Till the Cows Come Home) [F... I Could Go On Singing [From I Could Go On Singing] I Cried For You I Got Rhythm I Left My Heart In San Francisco I Left My Heart in San Francisco [*] I Left My Heart in San Francisco [DVD] I Love A Piano I Never Knew I Could Love Anybody Like I'm Loving ... I Never Knew I Could Love Anybody Like I'm Lo... I Was Born In Michigan I Wish I Were In Love Again I Wish You Love I'm Always Chasing Rainbows I'm Nobody's Baby I've Got My Love To Keep Me Warm I've Got Rhythm I've Got The Sun In The Morning I'm Always Chasing Rainbows I'm Just Wild About Harry I'm Nobody's Baby I've Got My Love To Keep Me Warm I've Got Rhythm I've Got The Sun In The Morning If I Had You If I Love Again If Love Were All In Between In The Valley (Where The Evening Sun Goes Down) It Never Was You It Never Was You [From I Could Go On Singing] [Alt... It Only Happens When I Dance With You It's A Great Big World It's Love I'm After It's A Great Big World It's Love I'm After Jitterbug Joan Crawford Johnny One Note (From 'Words And Music', 1948) Johnny One Note (From 'Words And Music',... Journey to a Star Judy Garland Medley, No. 1: Hooray for Love/After ... Just In Time Just in Time [DVD] Just in Time [Live] Just You, Just Me La Conga Life Is Just A Bowl Of Cherries Life Is Just A Bowl Of Cherries (Digitally Remaste... Limehouse Blues Little Drops Of Rain Little Drops of Rain [From Gay Purr-ee] Liza Liza (All the Clouds Will Roll Away) Londonderry Air (Danny Boy), folk song Look for the Silver Lining Look For The Silver Lining (From "Till The Clouds ... Look For The Silver Lining (From "Till The Cl... Love Love [From Ziegfield Follies of 1936] Love Of My Life Lover Come Back to Me Lucky Day Mack The Black Man That Got Away Me And My Gal Me And My Shadow (1996 Digital Remaster) Mean To Me (Digitally Remastered 96) Meet Me In St. Louis Meet Me in St. Louis [*] Meet Me Tonight in Dreamland Merry Christmas Minne From Trinidad More Than You Know More Than You Know (Digitally Remastered 96) My Intuition Nearness Of You, The Nellie Kelly, I Love You Oceans Apart Old Devil Moon Old Devil Moon (Digitally Remastered 96) Old Man River On The Atcheson, Topeka And The Sante Fe On the Atchison, Topeka & The Santa Fe On the Atchison, Topeka & The Santa Fe [From The H... On the Atchison, topeka and the Sant Fe On The Atchison, Topeka and the Santa Fe On the Atchison, Topeka and the Santa Fe [*] On The Atchison, Topeka And The Santa Fe [Alternat... On the Atchison, Topeka and the Santa Fe [From the... On the Atchison, Topeka and the Santa Fe [Studio E... On the Atchison, Topeka, & The Santa Fe On the Atchison, Topeka, And the Santa Fe [Excerpt... On the Bumpy Road to Love On the Sunny Side of the Street Our Love Affair Over The Rainbow Over The Rainbow (1996 Digital Remaster) Over The Rainbow (live) Over the Rainbow [from Czarnoksieznik Z Oz] Over the Rainbow [From the Wizzard of Oz] Over the Rainbow [From Wizard of Oz] Over the Rainbow {from the Wizard of Oz} Palace Montage Paris Is A Lonely Town Poor Butterfly Poor You Pretty Baby [Radio Broadcast] Pretty Girl Milking A Cow Purple People Eater Puttin' On The Ritz Puttin' On The Ritz (1992 Digital Remaster) Red Balloon Rock A Bye Your Baby With A Dixie Melody Rock-A-Bye Your Baby (With a Dixie Melody) Rock-A-Bye Your Baby With A Dixie Melody Rock-A-Bye Your Baby with a Dixie Melody [DVD] Rock-A-Bye-Your-Baby, with a dixi melody San Francisco Shenandoah (Across the Wide Missouri) Singin' In The Rain Singin' In The Rain Skip To My Lou Sleep My Baby Sleep Smile Smiles Snooky Ookums Something to Remember You By Somewhere Over the Rainbow Somewhere Over The Rainbow Speak Low Stompin' At the Savoy Stompin' At The Savoy Stormy Weather Stormy Weather (live) Stormy Weather [*] Stormy Weather [Alternate Take][#] Sunny Side Up Swanee Swanne(carnegie hall version) Swing Your Partner Round and Round Taking A Chance On Love Ten Pins In The Sky That Old Black Magic That Old Black Magic [From Star Spangled Rhythm] That's All That's All There Is That's Entertainment That's Entertainment! (Digitally Remastered 96) That's The Good Old Sunny South That's All That's Entertainment That's The Good Old Sunny South The Boy Next Door The Boy Next Door [*] The Jitterbug The Joint Is Really Jumpin' at Carnegie Hall The Joint Is Really Jumpin' At Carnegie Hall The Just In Time The Man That Got Away The Man That Got Away [Instrumental Partial Outtak... The Man That Got Away [Live] The Music That Makes Me Dance The Once In A Lifetime The Red Balloon (Alternate Take) The Texas Tornado The Trolley Song The Trolley Song [*] The Trolly Song [DVD] The Wearing Of The Green Then You've Never Been Blue Then You've Never Been Blue There's No Business Like Show Business There's No Business Like Show Business This Heart Of Mine [Alternate] [Alternate Take] This Heart of Mine [From Ziegfield Follies] This Is It Time After Time Together Wherever We Go Tom, Tom, The Piper's Son Tom, Tom, The Piper's Son Trolley Song Tzena, Tzena, Tzena Under the Bamboo Tree We're a Couple Of Swells Wearing Of The Green What Am I Here For? What Now My Love? When I Look At You When Johnny Comes Marching Home When My Sugar Walks Down the Street [#][*] When the Midnight Choo Choo Leaves for Alabam' When The Midnight Choo Choo Leaves For Alabam'... When the Saints Go Marching In When You Wore a Tulip (And I Wore a Big Red Rose) ... When You Wore a Tulip (And I Wore a Red, Red Rose) When You're Smiling When You're Smiling (The Whole World Smiles With Y... When You're Smiling Whispering Who Cares (As Long As You Care For Me) (1996 Digit... Who Cares? (As Long As You Care For Me) Who? Why Was I Born? Why Was I Born? [*] Why Was I Born? [Alternate Take][#] Yah-Ta-Ta, Yah-Ta-Ta Yankee Doodle Boy You Can't Have Ev'rything You Do Something To Me You Go To My Head You Made Me Love You You Made Me Love You (Dear Mr. Gable) You Wonderful You You Wonderful You (Reprise) You'll Never Walk Alone You're Nearer You'll Never Walk Alone You're Nearer Zing Went The Strings Of My Heart Zing! Went The Strings Of My Heart Zing! Went The Strings Of My Heart (1996 Digital R...