LyricMeaning

The Song Of The Seven Inch Cowboy
Pain

I'm a seven-inch cowboy

With a tiny pair of six guns.

Five'll get you ten,

I betcha never seen one.

Well I'm a seven inch cowboy

How do you be?

And I'm used to people gawking and a-staring at me

But I wasn't always so gol-darned wee

Let me tell you my story,

You can listen for free.

For seven long years,

Now that's a year for every inch I stand

I've traveled small and lonely down the byways of this giant land

Like a country western Lilliputian too afraid to stop

I'm at the bottom of the food chain whereas I once was at the top.

I wandered on foot, my horse had done abandoned me

And every town I come to's like a terrible dream

The other cowboys mocked me and spit tobacco like meteors

Watching me dodge 'em and laughing at my small squeaky scream

I went to a saloon to get a drink

They wouldn't serve me

They stuffed me in a glass and slid me up and down the bar

And all the barroom women gathered round and had their way with me

They sang a song both cold and mean

'Cause that's how women are,

They sang,

A man can pan for gold and strike it rich and be a millionaire

Or ride the rodeo and be the best one at it anywhere.

Drive a brand new car, be a movie star

Size is all that counts, and there you are.

And I'm a seven-inch cowboy

With a tiny pair of six guns

Five'll get you ten

I bet you never seen one

(Yodeling)

Now as you can imagine, I'd grown pretty bitter

(Although that's the only way in which I had grown)

And in that seventh year I finally found my transgressor,

The man who had shrunk me, the worst fiend I'd ever known.

The mad Professor Mentley was his name and I drew near

I hopped upon his shoulder and I grabbed him by the ear

I held my little pistols up and I told 'im, Look a-here!

You made me this way, it's time you pay, you gol-darned queer!

And the professor said, Wait! Wait!

Now you know me, and I know you

And you know that strange experiments are just what I do

It's less like a pastime and more like a job

Why if I didn't do it, I'd be an unemployed slob

Now I know that won't suffice if I'm to set you at ease

But I'm thinking as fast as I can for a man who's down on his knees

And just this passing moment I had a thought, here's what I thunk, I thought,

'Where would you be today if you hadn't've shrunk?'

Just another nameless cowboy, a mediocre bumpkin

Riding in the sun, skin burnt the color of a pumpkin

Reviled by the ladies, ridiculed by other men,

Nothing to set you apart nor would there ever have been

Then I came along, yes ME, Professor Mentley!

I gave you a gift! (though you weren't grateful evidently)

I plucked you from your average status, I made you unique

You're a seven-inch cowboy, not a six foot freak.

From every corner of the globe folks will come to adore you

Nations will bow and throw their riches before you

You'll be diminutive in stature, but a titan inside

Because I, your true friend, chose to stand by your side.

Now I cogitated on the words Professor Mentley shared

And I wondered if perhaps he only said 'em 'cause he was scared

My guns were weighin' heavy in my hands, my heart was low

When suddenly some old advice came to me soft and slow:

Well my pop told me it don't matter where a fella goes

You can sail through icy straights and misty archipelagoes.

Travel to the moon, orbit every star

Size don't really count and there you are.

And I'm a seven-inch cowboy (seven inches tall)

With a tiny pair of six guns (That's mighty damn small)

Five'll get you ten (For all you bettin' men)

You'll never see another one (yeah!)

I guess Professor Mentley had a point although I shot him anyway

There's never been a gentleman like me and that is safe to say

Well, I've thought real long and hard, so hard my brain is numb

Now I say Hollywood (Hollywood!), Hollywood (Hollywood!)

Hollywood here I come!


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Lyrics by Pain

  A Good Day To Die   A Wannabe   Adam's Apple   Adam's Apple   Antidote   Army Of The Bored   Beanbag   Bottle's Nest   Bottle's Nest   Breathe   Breathing In, Breathing Out   Bye / Die   Bye/die   Bye/Die [Videoclip][*]   Bye\/die   Cap'n Scrub   Cap'n Scrub   Choke On Your Lies   Chris Gets Up On It   Chuck Al Hashib   Close My Eyes   Clouds Of Ecstasy   Comeback   Coming Home   Computer God   Crashed   Crashed   Dancing With The Dead   Dark Fields Of Pain   Delusions   Derision   Designed to Piss You Off   Does It Really Matter   Don't Let Me Down   Don't Care   Don't Count Me Out   Don't Let Me Down   Easy Out   Eleanor Rigby   Ellen   End Of The Line   End Of The Line   End Of The Line [Live]   End of the Line [Uncut Video]   End of the Line [Videoclip][*]   Enough   Excalibur   Expelled   Fade Away   Fight   Final Crusade   Follow Me   Full Speed Ahead   Full Speed Ahead (Battleship Version)   Futz Said Julie   Gavin   Goggins   Greed   Grudge   Gumba Wacka Woo   I'm Going In   I'm Going In   Idle Hands   Injected Paradise   Island Of Fear   It's Only Them   It's Only Them   Jabberjaw   Jonathan Fallow   Juice \/ Square Pegs   Just Hate Me   Just Hate Me [Videoclip][*]   Just Think Again   Kokamantratarius   Learn How To Die   Leave Me Alone   Live Fast / Die Young   Man Upstairs (What A Man Version)   Midgets With Guns   Milk   My Angel   My Misery   My Misery   Nitro   Not afraid to die   Not afraid to die   Nothing   On And On   On Your Knees   One-Legged Girl   People, The People   Play Dead   Pose Ode   Psalms Of Extinction   Pull Me Under   Put 'Em Back   Put 'em Back   Put Together   Right On   Rope Around My Neck   Same Old Song   Same old song   Same Old Song [Live]   Save Me   Save Your Prayers   Seven-Inch Cowboy   She Whipped   Shut Your Mouth   Shut Your Mouth [Videoclip][*]   Square Pegs   Stay away   Suckerpunch   Suicide Machine   Supersonic Bitch   Tear it up   Tear It Up   The Bottlerocket War   The Last Drops Of My Life   The Man Upstairs   The People, The People   The Tables Have Turned   The third wave   The White Recluse   The White Recluse (Demo Version)   Thimbledrome   Upright   Walking On Glass   Who Took Botu's Picture?   Who Took Botu's Picture?   Zombie Slam

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