Oh, my darling, there is something we must discuss
How with cell phone in hand you ran my Volvo through the special bus
(And I am more a Volvo than any other kind of car
Reliable and safe and Scandinavian and square)
You bent in all the corners and you put out all the lights
So I wanna know, baby, how you propose to make things right
Oooh my darling, when you bounced that check
Why didn’t you think the gorram fees would set you so far back
Oh my darling sugar pie, why did you stay up all that night
And put off your packing and eat too much and miss your flight
You knew you’d be miserable after that white lie
So why did you why did you why did you why did you why?
(Shame on you babe, shame on you babe
Always do know what you’ll do, babe
You know what you should and shouldn’t'a….)
Maybe when you’re older, baby, maybe when you’re sober
Then you’ll stop picking zits and picking nits and picking fights!
I know I’m far from perfect and I know I’m hardly good
But we’d get so much further if you would do what you what you should do –
If seeing were caring what a different line we’d take
If knowing were doing what a different world we’d make
What we want and what we need we very very seldom do
I want a smaller waist. I want donuts too.
And we visit on each other, oh, the slings of self-defeat
And we cannot dodge the arrows of undisciplined retreat
I’d be better if my love were not so timid and controlled
I’d sleep closer if I were not both so bony and so cold…