William Shakespeare's In My Cat
Arrogant Worms

I never much believed in reincarnation
Thought it was only people's imagination
But now I'm forced into some reconsideration
'Cause something's happened to my cat
That deserves some explanation

William Shakespeare's in my cat
My kitty is the bard
He used to be a playwright
Now he's digging up the yard
He's still a cat in most respects
He likes to meow and purr
But now I introduce him as the cat
That wrote Richard the third

I took him to see Phantom
He said it was quite nice
But he can't go see Miss Saigon
Until he kills some mice
(Until he kills some mice)

William Shakespeare's in my cat
It sometimes seems so deep
The guy who wrote Twelfth Night
Chews on my socks while I'm asleep
I'm really quite impressed
I own the cat who wrote MacBeth
But if something's rotten in this state
It's just his fishy breath

'Cause he wrote Romeo and Juliet
But his greatest story yet
Is coming back as someone's pet
And gettin' neutered by the vet
He got his paws caught in a net
Then he said to be or not to meeeow!

William Shakespeare's in my cat
He rarely ever talks
He makes his loudest statements
Standing in the litter box
He sleeps on all my shelves
And throws my books about the house
It doesn't sound like prose
When he bats his squeaky mouse

Sam Beckett's plays are witty,
Same thing for Bernard Shaw,
Oscar Wilde is pretty,
But none of them have paws
(None of them have paws)

William Shakespeare's in my cat
He chases bits of fluff
John Milton's in my goldfish
But I never liked his stuff
I'm thinking that Franz Kafka
Really came back as a bug
And I hope Andrew Lloyd Webber
Will stay underneath my rug

'Cause he wrote Romeo and Juliet
But his greatest story yet
Is coming back as someone's pet
And gettin' neutered by the vet
He got his paws caught in a net
Then he said to be or not to meeeow!

Take it, Trevor!
(Trevor's solo on what sounds like a Jew's-Harp-style instrument)

He wrote Romeo and Juliet
But his greatest story yet
Is coming back as someone's pet
And gettin' neutered by the vet
He got his paws caught in a net
Then he said to be or not to meeeow!


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Lyrics by Arrogant Worms

  A Man Has Needs   A Manly Song   A Night On Dildo   A Real Letter From A Real Yahoo   Assumption Song   Baby Poo   Big Box Store   Big Fat Road Manager   Billy Themepark Shark   Billy, The Themepark Shark   Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah   Bottle Of Booze   Boy Band   Canada Sucks   Canada's Really Big   Canada's Really Big   Car Full Of Pain   Car Of Pain   Carrot Juice Is Murder   Celine Dion   Cellphone Vigilante   Christmas Blues   Christmas Hangover   Christmas In Ignace   Christmas Is Almost Here   Christmas Sucks   Christmas Turkey Blues   Christmastime   Cows With Guns   Dad Threw Up On Christmas Day   Dangerous   Dog Food Woman   Dog Named Bob   Don't Go Into Politics   Don't Go Into Politics   Drink With Me   Forgive Us We're Canadian   Fuzzy Dice   Goin' Huntin'   Going Hunting   Great To Be A Nerd   Having Fun Is Bad For You   Head In The Freezer   Heimlich Maneuver   History is Made By Stupid People   Horizon   Hot Dog Song   I Am Cow   I Am Cow!!!!   I Am Not American   I Got Fingers   I pulled my groin   I Ran Away   I Want To Look Like Arnold   I'm The Only Gay Eskimo   Idiot Road   If I Were Prime Minister   Jesus' Brother Bob   Jesus' Brother Bob   Johnny Came Home Headless   Kill The Dog Next Door   Killer Robots From Venus   Let There Be Guns   Let's Go Bowling   Let's Go Bowling   Life On The Road   Log In To You   Login To You   Lonely Lab Of Broken Hearts   Losing Hair Under God   Malcolm   Me Like Hockey   Me Like Hockey!   Mounted Animal Nature Trail   Mrs. Catto   My Neighbour's Learning Saxophone   My Voice Is Changing   New Car Smell   No Sale/no Store   No Sale\/No Store   Oh God, I'm Santa Claus   Oh God, I'm Santa Claus!   Oh God, I'm Santa Claus   Particle Board   Proud T O Be A Banker   Proud To Be A Banker   Proud To Be Canadian   Really Scary   Rippy The Gator   Rocks and Trees   Sam, The Guy From Quincy   Santa Got Arrested   Santa's Coming And He's Gonna Kick Your Ass   Santa's Gonna Kick Your Ass   Scary Ned   Sex, Drugs, and RRSP   Sex, Drugs, and RRSP's   She Talks During Movies   Shipwreck Balladeer   Song Inside My Head   Sponges   Stalker Girl   Steel Drivin' Man   Steel Drivin' Man   The Assumption Song   The Ballad Of Dan   The Beer Song   The Canada Song   The Canadian Crisis Song   The Christmas Song   The Coffee Song   The Credit Song   The Fishing Song   The Gaelic Song   The Golf Song   The Happy Happy Birthday Song   The Hockey Song   The Last Saskatchewan Pirate   The Last Sensitive Cowboy   The Me Song   The Monkey Song   The Mountie Song   The Same Christmas Cake   The Scotsman   The Toronto Song   The War of 1812   The Worst Seat On The Plane   Things Are Looking Bad For Santa   Tokyo Love Song   Toronto Sucks   Trichinosis   Trip To Greece   TV Weather Guy   Vincent The Christmas Virus   Waiting to Sell Out   Wayne Gretzky Rocks   We Are the Beaver   William Shakespeare's In My Cat   Winnebago   Wolfe Island Ferry   Wong's Chinese Buffet   Wong's Chinese Buffet

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