95. Tubby Barlow
Chumbawamba

Chumbawamba

Miscellaneous

95. Tubby Barlow

Posed like swallows before a dive

Five lanes, and on the left hand side

Stands Tubby Barlow wet with fear

Not quite sure what he's doing there

On your marks, get set, and they're in

Tubby's consumed by the urge to win

Four are greased lightning, one is lard

But Tubby's determined not to be left behind

Ten years of being pushed around flash before his eyes

Alone in the schoolyard eating his pride

In third place as they reach the turn

His arms ache and his chest burns

Kids are cheering from the balcony

Tubby's oblivious, all he can see

Is that this is the moment to change his life

By collecting a trophy on the other side

Past Steven Clough and Kenny Grey

Mum, mum, I'm winning the race!

He opens his mouth and water floods in

He's coughing, choking, panicking

Down once, down twice, 'till someone screams


Sir, Tubby Barlow's drowning!

But Baz Wilson's already in

Got his intermediate in life saving

The captain of the football team

Idol of every young girl's dream

Drags Tubby towards the rope

But Tubby's confused and grips his throat

As both boys begin to skin

Sir, Baz Wilson's drowning!

Tubby opens his eyes for one last time

Sees Baz flailing at his side

Like Jesus after the resurrection

Sees himself as Baz's salvation

Grabs Baz, heads for the side

Chariots of Fire playing in his mind

Meanwhile Steven Clough gets first position

But they're all watching Tubby save Baz Wilson

Now Tubby lays like a whale on the shore

Gasping and spewing like a real hero

Like a real hero!


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Lyrics by Chumbawamba

  ...And In A Nutshell   "Celebration, Florida"   "I'm Not Sorry, I Was Having Fun"   1. Good Afternoon and Welcome to White Hart Lane   10. Hmmm...   100. Barry John   101. Running Order   11. Heysel Stadium   12. How Dare They Call It Football?   13. Geoff Hurst's Goal   14. Studmarks on the Summits   15. Drugs   16. A Lament to the Best   17. On the Beach   18. The Bull Fights Back   19. City Man City   2. Chelsea's Back Four   20. Zola Budd   21. Desmond Lynam's Sports Trivia   22. Brian   23. The Fun In Games   24. Games Were Fun   25. Spassky Fischer   26. Horses For Courses   27. That Golden Era   28. Karl Marx Never Made The Squad   29. Disabled Sports   3. We Want Beans Not Goals   30. Mountain Biking   31. Shin-Paring   32. Better   33. Outfoxed   34. Mick McManus' Haircut   35. Ever Heard the One About the Pacemaker?   36. A Regular Guy   37. Leather on Willow, etc.   38. Shoot   39. Bowls   4. Naming Names   40. Dad's Mascot   41. Amereicha   42. One Under Par   43. The Tennis Racket   44. The Worm Turns   45. Sporting Ties   46. Sports   47. Sweet F.A.   48. All's Well At Oakwell   49. Armchair Sport   5. Benefits of the Game   50. Forgotten   51. Lost In Rome   52. Where Did the Chinaman Go?   53. For Those of You Watching in Black and White   54. The Englishman Abroad   55. Ashes to Ashes   56. Changing Gears   57. In Praise of Sumo   58. Frickley   59. Graham Hill   6. The Bowler's Botha, The Batsman's Gooch   60. Isn't It Horrible?   61. Gobsmacked   62. Hopscotch   63. Tills Ring, Crowds Cheer!   64. The Rise and Fall and Rise of Greavsie   65. Indoor League   66. Face Jumping   67. Sunday League Footy   68. Orienteering   69. Jos   7. Punch Drunk   70. Rebel Rebel   71. Bing Oh!   72. Not Sport   73. The Choice Is Yours   74. Awesome Wheels   75. Memories of Shilts   76. Bob Beamon   77. Learning Karate   78. Yup and Under   79. Australian Rules Football   8. Walking the Penine Way   80. Michaelangelo   81. Desmond   82. Polo   83. Eddie Waring   84. Jimmy Hill   85. Whilst Stocks Last   86. One-Sided Game   87. Lester Piggot, Cell Block No. 9   88. Hurling and Imperialism   89. Mad Max   9. Seoul Music   90. P.E.   91. School Team   92. Eddie The Eagle   93. Groundhopping   94. Rip It Up   96. The Incompatibility of Sport and Cosmic Consci...   97. It's a Man's Game   98. Shot   99. Back Home   A Fairy Tale (real No-shit)   A Fine Career   A Lament To The Best   A Morality Play   A Regular Guy   Act With Mother   Adversity   All Fur Coat & No Knickers   All The King's Men   All's Well At Oakwell   Always The Winner   Amereicha   Amnesia   Amnesia (Acoustic Version)   Amnesia (Album Version)   Amnesia (Done Lying Down Version)   Amnesia (Jimmy Echo Version)   Amnesia (On Flame With Rock And Roll Version)   Amnesia (Philip's Milk of Amnesia Mix)   Amnesia (Random Access Memory Loss Mix)   Amnesia (Single Mix)   Amnesia (Zion Train 359 Amhurst Road Mix)   An Interlude-Beginning To Take It Back   An Psalm   Armchair Sport   Ashes To Ashes   Asleep   Australian Rules Football   Awake   Awesome Wheels   Babbernation   Back Home   Bad Dog   Barry John   Be With You   Because I'm A He   Behave!   Bella Ciao   Benefits Of The Game   Better   Big Mouth Strikes Again   Bing Oh!   Bob Beamon   Bowls   Brian   British Colonialism And The Bbc   Bury Me Deep   Can't Think - Must Work   Catastrophe Reality   Celebration, Florida   Changing Gears   Charlie   Chase PCs Flee Attack By Own Dog   Chelsea's Back Four   City Man City   Colliers March   Come On Baby   Comic-tragic-magic   Commercial Break   Compliments Of Your Waitress   Creepy Crawling   Dad's Mascot   Declaring Peace   Desmond   Desmond Lynam's Sports Trivia   Disabled Sports   Disagreement   Does God Go To The Toilet?   Don't Pass Go   Don't Try This at Home   Drip Drip Drip (Country & Western Version)   Drip, Drip, Drip   Drugs   Dumbing Down   Dutiful Servants And Political Masters   Eddie The Eagle   Eddie Waring   Education (part I)   Education (part Ii)   Enough Is Enough   Enough Is Enough (Kick It Over)   Ever Heard The One About The Pacemaker?   Face Jumping   Farewell To The Crown   Feel Like I'm Fixin To Die' Rag (Country Joe and T...   Fight The Alton Bill!   Fine Line   Fitzwilliam   Flesh And Blood And Feelings   Flowers   Following You   Football Song   For Those Of You Watching In Black And White   Forgotten   Frickley   Fuck Off - Rip Off   Games Were Fun   Geoff Hurst's Goal   Georgina   Give The Anarchy A Cigarette   Gobsmacked   God Save The Queen   Good Afternoon and Welcome to White Hart Lane   Graham Hill   Groundhopping   Hammer Stirrup & Anvil   Happiness Is Just A Chant Away   Harry Goldthorpe   Health & Happiness Show   Hear No Bullshit (On Fire Mix)   Heartbreak Hotel   Heaven, Hell   Heaven/Hell   Here's The Rest Of Your Life   Here's To The Rest Of Your Life   Hey! You! Outside Now!   Heysel Stadium   Hmmm...   Homophobia   Homophobia (Sisters Mix)   Homophobia Acapella (Live)   Hopscotch   Horses For Courses   House Plants   How Dare They Call It Football?   Hurling And Imperialism   I Get Knocked Down   I Never Gave Up   I Never Gave Up (Cass Mix)   I Never Gave Up (Rondo Mix)   I Still Haven't Found What I Was Looking For   I Want More   I'm A Winner, Baby   I'm In Trouble Again   I'm Thick   In 2 Deep Jam   In Praise Of Sumo   In The Thick Of It   Indoor League   Insectkind   Invasion   Irish Joke   Isn't It Horrible?   Isolation   It's A Man's Game   Jack Horner   Jacob's Ladder   Jam Tomorrow   Jimmy Hill   Jingle Smells   Jos   Just A Form Of Music   Just Desserts   Just Look At Me Now   Just Look At Me Now (Borstal Boy Mix)   Just Us Mix   Justice / Injustice   K-2 (indian Restaurant)   Karl Marx Never Made The Squad   Kinnochio   Kiss, Kiss, Kiss   Knit Your Own Balaclava   L - Invasion   L - Isolation   Last Taxi Ride   LAUGHING (Never Stopped Mix)   Lay People   Learning Karate   Leather On Willow, Etc.   Lest We Forget   Lester Piggot, Cell Block No. 9   Let It Be   Liberation   Look! No Strings!   Lord Batemans Motorbike   Lost In Rome   Love Can Knock You Over   Love Me   Lying In The Dirt   Mad Max   Man Papers His Crack   Mannequin   Martini People   Mary Mary   Mary Mary (Stigmatic Mix)   May Day   Memories Of Shilts   Michaelangelo   Mick Mcmanus' Haircut   Money   More Whitewashing   Mothful   Mountain Biking   Mouthful Of Shit   Mouthful Of Shit (Country & Western Version)   Nadzeroon El Babo   Naming Names   Never Do What You Are Told   Never Let Go   Not Sport   Not The Girl I Used To Be   Nothing That's New   Nuclear Power? No Thanks!   On Being Pushed   On eBay   On Ilkley Moor Baht'at   On The Beach   One By One   One By One (Acoustic Version)   One Green Hill   One Under Par   One Way System   One-Sided Game   Orienteering   Outfoxed   Outsider   Oxymoron   P.e.   Pass It Along   Pass It Along (Albumesque Mix)   Pass It Along (Beats Working Mix)   Pass It Along (MP3 Mix)   Pass It Along (Rock-O-Rama Mix)   Passenger List For Doomed Flight #1721   Piggies In Revolution 9   Pinochet Bids Farewell From Beyond The Grave   Plastic Bullets   Polo   Pop Star Kidnap   Punch Drunk   R.I.P. RP   R.T.Z. & B.P... Why?   Rage   Rappaport's Testament: I Never Gave Up   Rebel Rebel   Refugee   Remembrance Day   Reuters (1977)   Rich Popstars Make Good Socialists   Rip It Up   Running Order   Salome (Let's Twist Again)   Same Old Same Old   Saying No   Scapegoat   Scare City   School Team   Seoul Music   Seven Days   She's Got All the Friends That Money Can Buy   She's Got All The Friends That Money Can Buy (Sing...   Shin-Paring   Shipbuilding (1983)   Shock! Horror!   Shoot   Shot   Sing About Love   Slag Aid   Sleep   Small Town   Smalltown   Smash Clause 28!   Smash Clause 29!   Snip Snip Snip   So Long, So Long   Somebody Else   Sometimes Plunder   Song Of The (Now Determined) Mother   Song Of The Government Minister Who Enjoys His Wor...   Song Of The Hardworking Community Registration Off...   Song Of The Mother In Debt   Spassky Fischer   Sporting Ties   Sports   Stagnation   Stitch That (Country & Western Version)   Stitch That (country & Western Version)   Stitch That!   Strike! (Barnsley 3 Man Utd. 2 Mix)   Studmarks On The Summits   Sugar Daddy   Sunday League Footy   Sweet F.A.   Tearing Up Zoo   That Golden Era   The ABCs of Anarchism   The Ballad Of Peoplekind   The Best Is Yet To Come (Acoustic Version)   The Best Is Yet To Come (Bee Hold End Version)   The Big Issue   The Big Issue (Acoustic Version)   The Big Picture   The Birmingham Six   The Bowler's Botha, The Batsman's Gooch   The Bull Fights Back   The Candidates Find Common Ground   The Choice Is Yours   The Day The Lady Died   The Day The Nazi Died (1993 Mix)   The Devil's Interval   The Englishman Abroad   The Fun In Games   The Goodship Lifestyle   The Incompatibility Of Sport And Cosmic Consciousn...   The Morning After   The Morning After (The Night Before)   The Ogre (After WH Auden)   The Police Have Been Wonderful   The Rise And Fall And Rise Of Greavsie   The Standing Still   The Sun   The Sun/Scum   The Tennis Racket   The Tree Of Knowledge   The Untraditional   The Worm Turns   There's No Need To Vote NF When There Are Twelve T...   This Dress Kills   This Girl   This Year's Thing   Thorn-emi Lighting   Tiananmen Square   Tills Ring, Crowds Cheer!   Timebomb   Timebomb (Jimmy Echo Vocal)   Times Of Crisis   To A Little Radio Right Around The World   Tony Blair   Top Of The World   Top Of The World (Olé Olé Olé)   Top of the World (Ole Ole Ole)   Top Of The World (Ole, Ole, Ole)   Tub Thumping   Tubby Barlow   Tubthumping   Tubthumping (Country & Western Version)   Tubthumping (Escape From New York Mix)   Tubthumping (Single Version)   Tubthumping (Tin Tin Out Mix)   Ugh! Your Ugly Houses!   Ugliest Part Of The Body   Unilever   Universal Soldier (1966)   Uranium Bribery Never Fails   Voices, That's All   Waiting For Margaret To Go   Waiting For The Bus   Waiting, Shouting   Walking The Penine Way   We Don't Go To God's House Anymore   We Don't Want To Sing Along   We Support All Forms Of Resistance Against This Ra...   We Support All Forms Of Resistance Against This Ra...   We Want Beans Not Goals   What We Want   When I'm Bad   Where Did The Chinaman Go?   Whilst Stocks Last   Why Are We Still In Ireland?   Why Can't We Sing About Something Nice?   William Francis   Without Reason or Rhyme (The Killing of Harry Stan...   World Turned Upside Down   Wormkind   You Can't Trust Anyone Nowadays   You Don't Exist   You Watched Me Dance   Younger Moralists   Yup And Under   Zola Budd

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