Immanuel Kant was a real pissantWho was very rarely stableHeidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggarWho could think you under the tableDavid Hume could out-consumeSchopenhauer and HegelAnd Wittgenstein was a beery swineWho was just as sloshed as SchlegelThere's nothing Nietzche couldn't teach ya'Bout the raising of the wristSocrates, himself, was permanently pissedJohn Stuart Mill, of his own free willOn half a pint of shandy was particularly illPlato, they say, could stick it awayHalf a crate of whiskey every dayAristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottleHobbes was fond of his dramAnd Rene Descartes was a drunken fartI drink, therefore I amYes, Socrates, himself, is particularly missedA lovely little thinkerBut a bugger when he's pissed
Lyrics by Monty Python
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