Willie: Now listen up! You tube-watchin' cartoon junkies!
Ralph: Lisa is a clever girl, she's got heart and lots of brains.
Krusty: Bart is a troublemaker, giving teachers headache pains.
Apu: Marge is the perfect mother, making kids a yummy sammich.
Frink: Homer is a model father, but he has no brain to damage.
(Simpsons Theme plays)
Homer: D'OH!
Homer: Mmm… Donuts!
(Simpsons Theme plays)
Homer: D'OH!
Homer: The what now?
Smithers: Patti runs the DMV, and has nothing to do with men.
Dr. Nick: Selma is her twin sister, two walking carcinogens.
Moe: Grampa is cantankerous, his complaints are getting bigger.
C. B. Guy: Maggie is the silent type, she's the one who pulled the trigger.
(Simpsons Theme plays)
Homer: D'OH!
Barney: (*belch!*)
(Simpsons Theme plays)
Homer: D'OH!
Maggie: (*suck, suck, suck, suck, suck*)
Barney: Mr. Burns is Homer's boss and bleeds Springfield just like a sieve.
Krusty: Smithers is his right hand man, his lifestyle's alternative.
Frink: Flanders is the next-door neighbor, Okely-Dokely-Doo!
Apu: Moe runs the local Tavern, he'll pour you another brew.
Smithers: Barney was a belching loser, filling up on different beers.
C. B. Guy: Milhouse looks just like that kid who used to be on Wonder Years.
Moe: Martin is the prissy type, no one loves him but his Ma.
Mr. Burns/Nelson: Nelson is the local bully, he's the one that says Ha-Ha!
(Simpsons Theme plays)
Homer: D'OH!
Mr. Burns: Excellent!
(Simpsons Theme plays)
Homer: D'OH!
Flanders: Hidely-Ho!
Otto: Ms. Krabappel, fourth grade teacher, education is a farce.
Apu/Willie: Willie is the Scottish grounds man, he'll tell you to Move your arse!
Krusty: Seymour Skinner loves his mother, perfect Norman Bates hotel.
Ralph: Reverend Lovejoy is the preacher, he says we'll all burn in Hell.
C. B. Guy: Chief Wiggum and his squad make Barney Feiff look like McBain.
Frink: Marvin Monroe cured neurosis with electrodes to the brain.
Dr. Nick: Otto is the school bus driver, no one knows just what he's on.
Smithers: Kwik-E-Mart's run by Apu Nahasapeemapetilon.
(Simpsons Theme plays)
Homer: D'OH!
Dr. Nick: Hi everybody!
(Simpsons Theme plays)
Homer: D'OH!
Apu: Thank you, come again!
Mr. Burns: Mayor Quimby, politician, all your votes he will extort.
Smithers: Lionel Hutz, a bad attorney, he'll get you contempt of court.
Krusty: Kent Brockman reads the news with a crazy debonair.
Dr. Nick: Ralph's nosebleeds would stop if he kept his finger out of there.
C.B.Guy: Itchy is a cartoon mouse who has some violent tendencies.
Moe: Scratchy is his kitty victim, mashed him into cottage cheese.
Ralph: Krusty will get lots of laughs when he hits your head with a hammer.
Frink: Sideshow Bob's a psychopath who uses proper Kelsey grammar.
(Simpsons Theme plays)
Homer: D'OH!
Krusty: Hey Hey! Hu hu huh ha!
(Simpsons Theme plays)
Homer: D'OH!
Sideshow Bob: Huh-uuh-uuh-uuh…
Otto: Jimbo is a teenage punk, lots of pranks he will be plannin'.
Dr. Nick: Sideshow Mel got a concussion when he got shot from a cannon.
Mr. Burns: Dr. Hibbert, he will treat you, fix it up and make it nice.
Apu: Dr. Nick will do it quicker, at a bargain basement price.
Willie: Cletus is a slack-jawed yokel, farming dirt to feed his kin.
Krusty: Troy McClure, a washed up actor, you can see him starring in…
Ralph: Radioactive Man Versus Mutant Ninja Minks.
Frink/C.B.Guy: Mmm-hoy, moisen gayne and glaiven! Those words are Professor Frink's.
Moe: Kodos is from outer space, shows up every Halloween.
Barney: Kang is her mutant brother, laughing over earth cuisine.
Smithers/B.Man: Bumblebee Man, No es bueno!, his pain will go on forever.
Frink/C.B.Guy: Comic Book Guy heard this disc and said …Worst …Album …Ever!
(Simpsons Theme plays)
Barney, Moe, & Willie: 88 Lines About 44 Simpsons!
(Finale of Simpsons Theme plays)
Homer: D'OH!
Nelson: Ha-Ha!