sometimes it feels likeni'm wasting awaynin this lifenni've taken a hand full of pillsnbut i'm still herenand i don't know whynni wish that i could sayni'd like to think thatnit means i'll find my purpose somedaynnand i've been cheated onni've been turned into dustni've been stomped so hard by deception and mistrustnnbut i'm still alive and my heart is beatingnand i know that every love i've encounterednis fleetingnnand every time i crack that sealnthe bottles opened and i feelnthat i've found a releasennlike it is somethingnthat was specificallynmade for menni know it's not but i like to pretendni love the ideanthat i'm slowly putting my life to an endnnand i have dreams with people and situationsni awake screaming some nightsni wonder if it's from all the complicationsnni'm finding comfort in being alonenit's by far the most prominent feelingnthat i've ever knownnnif i talk to just one stranger a daynit's too much for meni'd rather stay awaynnalone in my roomnwith my music and coldni love it so much it never seems oldnnbut when a beaming light of a girl appearsnall that desolationnturns into fearnnand i can't help but feel lost when i findnsomeone that makes mencompletely lose my mindnnfearing loneliness i latch onto lovenbut instead i should fleenlike a single white dovennthere's no way to replace my mistakesnthey continually happennand eventually replicatennand i drink myself right into the groundnwhen i've lostnwhatever treasure i think i have foundnnso i try to burynthese thoughtsnon papernnbut a stiff drinknalwaysnseems safer