WTF Collective 3
Jon Lajoie

Yo...
MC confusing...
WTF 3 mother fuckers.
Got more hamstrings than a pile of wings

2012 - Bringing west wing DVDs to a blind date
First on deck every day normal guy
[everyday normal guy
Everyday normal guy
here to get the track started
My average lyrics are between
genius and retarded
I drink tap water
and watch all the CSIs
I put my 30 dollar pants on
on leg at a time
Sleep 8 hours a night
eat 3 meals a day
I'm motherfucking content
I got no reason to complain
I have a roof over my head
and I got clothes on my back
My verse is done it wasn't great
but hey it wasn't that bad

[MC uses time machines irresponsibly]
Yo I'm MC uses time machines irresponsibly
Went back and found Jusad Iscariot in 33 AD
Gave him 31 pieces of silver to rat out the wrong guy
Then I planted monsanto seeds in dinosaur times
Gave Bill Gates my iPhone in 1973
Then I travelled in time to the night that I was concieved
Then I met up with my parents and we hung out all night
Come to think of it they didn't have any alone time (NO)

[MC nausious]
MC Nausious up in this mother fucker
I don't feel so hot shit
I think that I am gonna [bluurg]
Why'm I so sick, what I eat
Cat food will make expired yogurt taste less like cheese (oh right)

[MC cock blocks himself]
MC cock blocks himself, hey girl what's up
You so sexy we should probably hook up
Crawl in a hot tub with a bottle of champagne
By the way I have a girlfriend and I think I might have AIDS

[MC necrophiliac]
MC necrophiliac, where are my dead bodies at
Crashing funerals just so that I can get a whiff of that
Decomposing bodies are (they're[?]) my favourite aphrodesiac
Flatlining gives me a pavlovian erection in my pants
Turn-offs include breathing pulses and signs of life
My turn ons are rigor mortis cold flesh and suicide
If you're not stiff as a board I won't be stiff and I'll be bored
Wait what do we have here? Looks like I'm about to score

[Talking, Zombie chorus guy]
Wait a minute... no! no!!! NO!!!
[singing]
-You have to be kidding me
What the fuck is going on
-This cannot be happening
I don't wanna do this any more
-This must be a bad dream
Leave me alone
-Why am I still singing?
I mother fucking killed myself

[MC gets sidetracked easily]
Yo!
MC gets sidetracked easily back in the heezy
By heezy I mean house but not the show I think it's cheezy
My favourite show is Dexter that guy is also in 6 feet-
under my first experience with death I was just 16
My dog got run over by a truck and its head exploded
Like Robert Patrick in Terminator 2 when he's frozen
Its freezing in Iceland I was just there on holiday
Hold on I think I got lost again what was I trying to say?

[MC who couldn't speak in the present tense]
I was MC who couldn't speak in the present tense
I'm gonna have a lot of money and my dick was immense
It would've been difficult, people assumed I was a retard
I'll have a serious problem, communicating was hard

[MC constipation]
Yo I'm MC constipation
It has been 3 days since
My last bowell movement
I'm starting to get impatient
Spend hours on the toilet
Yet nothing never comes out of it
Intestines like polititions
They're constantly full of shit
I wish my bowell movements
where a little more like my rhymes
Always smooth and free-flowing
It would save me a lot of time
Push for hours with no result
Not even a brown brussel sprout
My shit's like a gay republican
It's not planning on coming out

[MC]
Yo I'm MC invisible
You can't see me
The only rapper in this industry
that can't be seen
With the naked eye
I won't lie
It's hard to get a fanbase
When image is everything
And I litterally don't have a face

[MC on the phone with Ted Danson]
I'm MC on the phone with Ted Danson
Keep it down
Just skip to the next verse
I'm on the phone with ted Danson
Not now
hold on ted
I don't wanna be in this song anymore
Leave me alone
This is more important
I'm on the phone with the guy who played Sam Malone

[MC confusing]
Yo MC confusing wrapping up the song
Like a plasticine high fiving (high five and) a helicopter thong
I got richochet highlitghts from the fleet fox's knife guy
We out like a rice fightin' a vampire's wife's life

[MC zombie chorus guy]
-Maybe this isn't so bad
Better than my last job
-Taking it in the ass for cash
20 bucks a pop
-Maybe things will turn around
Being a zombie's pretty cool
-Things couldn't get worse anyhow
(get's tackled by MC necrophiliac)
[Talking]
[MC necrophiliac:] Yeah that's right uuhh. [undoing fly/zipper] Oh you're gonna get it you little dead bitch.
[Chorus Guy:] No! No! Ahh! [getting raped] ow ow, I spoke to soon
[MC WCSITPT:] UUGH! That used to be so gross!
[MC Nausious:] It's just a guy having sex with a dead body. There's nothing (BLURG)
[MC invisible:] Dude! you just puked all over me!
[MC Nausious:] sorry
[MC constipation:] That's a good idea, I should get an enema
[MC cock-blocks himself:] Enemas, puke, guys having sex with dead bodies... you ready to go back to my place ([girl:] uugh (walks off)) What am I doing wrong?
[MC fatigue: (wakes up)] Did I miss anything?

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