The Excited Southerner At A Job Interview
Adam Sandler

[J.N.:] I can make a bigger splash than you!
[Jimmy:] Oh yeah, give it a shot.

[J.N.:] Can opener!
[Jimmy:] Man, that one was huge.
[J.N.:] You go.

[Jimmy:] Ahhhh, jacknife!
[Tracy:] That was a dud, Jimmy.
[Jimmy:] Shutup, Tracy.
[Tracy:] You shutup.

[Momma:] Lunch time kids.
I made some jelly sandwiches and sliced up some cantelope.
I figured you could eat a little food and and then maybe play with yer cock and balls fer a while.
[J.N.:] I'm just gonna eat, mom.
[Momma:] All right. And then maybe a little later, you can play with yer cock and balls fer momma.
[J.N.:] I don't think so.
[Momma:] Ok. Slow down Jimmy, yer already halfway done with yer sandwhich.
You're gonna get a belly ache.
[Jimmy:] No I'm not. I'm hungry.
[Momma:] I know, but you shouldn't so fast. You're rushing honey, you're gonna choke.
Put down your sandwich and beat off your cock and balls for a little bit. Pace yourself.
[Jimmy:] Oh god.

[Momma:] Tracy, do you want some fruit or a sandwich?
[Tracy:] No mom, I'm trying to lose weight. Guy said I'm getting fat.
[Momma:] What? You look beautiful honey. He's crazy.
[Tracy:] Guy said last summer I looked better in a bathing suit,
So I'm gonna try to lose like three or four pounds.
[Momma:] Awww, sweetheart. You've got so much to learn. Guy doesn't want you to lose weight, baby. It's just his way of telling you he wants you to smack around his cock and balls some more, honey. He's got some balls and some cock. You gotta stroke his schlong or at least bite his nuts.
[Tracy:] Mom!
[Momma:] You're scared, aren't ya honey. You want momma to help you?
Momma will stroke Guy's penis for him. No one has to know. I'll sneak in when it's dark.
[Tracy:] No! Mom, please!
[Momma:] You don't know how to tug on the cock and balls? You need momma to show you?
Get me a carrot, sweetheart. Where are you going!?

[J.N.:] Mom, where's the suntan lotion?
[Momma:] It's under the chair baby.
You gonna lube up yer cock and balls and wack it for a little bit?
[J.N.:] Uhh, no. I'm just going to put some on my face so I don't get sunburnt.
[Momma:] Smart thinking honey.
And while yer at it you can put some on your brother's ding dong and knock around his nuts for him.
[Jimmy:] Mom!
[Momma:] What Jimmy. Why don't you let your brother wack your cock and nuts for a little bit.
You're not playing with them right now so why not let him. Share, baby!

[Jimmy:] You're weird mom! I'm going swimming!
[Momma:] Oh, you shouldn't swim for a half an hour. I read that.
[Jimmy:] Why?
[Momma:] Because you just ate, honey. And you'll get cramps.
Why don't you just lay on the side of the pool and jiggle your balls for momma.
[Jimmy:] It's ok. I'll stay in the shallow end.
[Momma:] Ok, baby. But don't hurt yourself with that big juicy hog of yours.

[Jimmy:] Hey, J.N. Throw me that frisbee.
[J.N.:] Here! Whoops!
[Jimmy:] Nice throw. Right over the fence and into the Chasen's yard.
[Momma:] Don't get all huffy puffy. I'll get it. Momma will make everything all right.
J.N. you watch Jimmy and make sure he's safe in that water.
[J.N.:] Ok, ma.

[Momma:] And if you want you can beat your cock and balls. Hi Mr. Chasen!
[Mr. Chasen:] Oh, hi Emily. How are you?
[Momma:] Oh, the boys threw the frisbee over the fence again. And there it is under the bush.
[Mr. Chasen:] I'll get it for you.
[Momma:] Sorry. Thank you. And while your under that bush, why don't you jack around your cock and balls for yourself. You can stare at my jugs and play with that healthy wang of yours.
[Mr. Chasen:] No, I'll just.. I'll just get your frisbee.
[Momma:] All right baby.
[Mr. Chasen:] Here you go.
[Momma:] Thank you. Thanks. Thank Mr. Chasen, boys!
[Boys:] Thanks Mr. Chasen!
[Mr. Chasen:] You're welcome fellas.
[Momma:] Have a good day. Oh, and, and tell your son Tommy, if he wants to come over later and play with his cock and balls with the kids he's always welcome. I don't know what happened with him and the boys, but they don't seem to be friendly anymore.
[Mr. Chasen:] I'll do that Emily.
[Momma:] All right. He's got a big one. You know that.

[Momma:] Tracy! Your boyfriend Guy's car just pulled up.
[Tracy:] Ok mom. Please don't embarrass me!
[Momma:] Everything embarasses you at this age, but I'll do my best. Don't worry.
[Guy:] Is it ok to come in?
[Tracy:] Come on back here Guy!
[Momma:] Oh!
[Tracy:] Thanks for coming over!
[Momma:] Nice to see you Guy.
[Guy:] Hi Mrs. Tucker.
[Momma:] Why don't you go for a swim with the others?
[Guy:] I didn't bring a bathing suit with me.
[Momma:] Oh no! You don't need a bathing suit.
Just pull off your clothes and let your cock and balls feel the nice warm water.
[Guy:] Uhhh, that's ok, Mrs. Tucker.

[Momma:] Come on! Pull out your cock and balls. The water's heated. You'll love it.
[Tracy:] Mom! Stop it! Now!
[Momma:] What are you talking about, honey!? This way his balls are out, you can stroke his ding dong in front of all of us. Come on, pull out that hog of yours. I want to see it anyways. I want to know what my daughter's been stroking.
[Tracy:] Mom! Stop it!
[Momma:] In fact, everybody, pull out your cock and balls and rub it for momma. Play with yourself. It'll be good. Everyone. Wack away!
[J.N.:] You're sick mom! I'm leaving.
[Jimmy:] I'm going to Billy's house. I can't take this anymore.

[Guy:] Come on, let's go.
[Tracy:] You've humiliated me and Guy. We are so outta here.

[Momma:] What did I do? What is the matter with you all? Come back here! You're ruining the day! It's so beautiful out. This is too much of a...
I can't take these kids anymore...

[Grandma:] Hello?
[Momma:] Momma, it's me, I'm very upset,
[Grandma:] Oh, what's the matter, baby?
[Momma:] The kids are yelling at me and they left me here all alone.
[Grandma:] Did you tell them the kids to play with their cock and balls?
[Momma:] I told them to play with their cock and balls.
[Grandma:] And what did they say?
[Momma:] They don't want to play with them anymore.
[Grandma:] Why don't they want to play with them anymore?
[Momma:] I don't understand. They've got cock and balls. They should play with them.
[Grandma:] Poppy always loves when I play with his cock and balls.
[Momma:] You smack around daddy's cock still, why shouldn't they beat theirs?
[Grandma:] Tell them to come over to grandma's house. I'll play with their cock and balls.
[Momma:] Oh momma.


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Lyrics by Adam Sandler

  Girl   Hot Water Burn Baby   I Ran Over The Taco Bell Dog   I Will Go Back To School   Leabing Song Part II   Like A Hurricane   Masturbata   Medium Pace   Memory Lane   Mother's Day Song   Moyda   My Little Chicken   Sid & Alex   Somebody Kill Me   The Beating Of A High School Spanish Teacher   The Buffoon & The Dean Of Admissions   The Buffoon And The Valedictorian   The Chanukah Song Pt. 3   The Cheerleader   The Excited Southerner Proposes To A Girl   The Goat   The Hypnotist   The Lonesome Kicker   The Longest Pee   The Peeper   The Psychotic Legend Of Uncle Donnie   The Taliban Can   The Thanksgiving Song   Three Cheers For Ottawa (Go Leafs Go)   Welcome My Son   What The Hell Happened To Me?   Zittly Van Zittles   50 Ways To Get Bin Laden   50 Ways To Get Bin Laden   7 Foot Man   7 Foot Man   A Christmas Song   Assistant Principal's Big Day   Assistant Principal's Big Day   At A Medium Pace   At A Medium Pace   At The Mall (feat. Kevin Grady)   Baby Got Jack   Bad boy friend   Bad Boyfriend   Best Friend   Billy Madison's Victory Song   Buddy   Buddy   Buddy[Moving Train]   Bum Biddy   Calling Home   Camp Granada   Champion   Chanukah Song Part 2   Chanukah Song Part II   Chanunak Song   Cool Guy 1   Cool Guy 1   Cool Guy 2   Cool Guy 2   Cool Guy 3   Cool Guy 3   Cool Guy 4   Cool Guy 4   Cool Guy 5   Cool Guy 5   Cordurory Blues   Corduroy Blues   Crazy Love   Crazy Love   Creepin' On The Mayor   Creepin' On The Mayor   Dancin' And Pantsin'   Dancin' And Pantsin'   Davey's Song   Davey's Song   Davey's Song   Dee Wee (My Friend The Massive Idiot)   Dee Wee (My Friend the Massive Idiot)   Dip Doodle   Dip Doodle   Do It For Mama   Do It For Your Mama   Fatty mc gee   Fatty Mcgee   Fatty Mcgee   Food Innuendo Guy   Food Innuendo Guy   Food Inuendo Guy   Forgetful Lucy   Forgetful Lucy   Four year sold   Four Years Old   Frogetful   Gay Robot   George Simmons Soon Will Be Gone   Girl   Girl   Good ol' David Letterman   Grow Old With You   Grow Old With You   Hanukkah Song Part One   Hanukkah Song Part Two   Haunaka   Hot Water Burn Baby   Hot Water Burn Baby   I Ran Over The Taco Bell Dog   I Ran Over The Taco Bell Dog   I Wanna Grow Old With You   I Wanna Grow Old With You   I Will Go Back To School   I Will Go Back To School   I'm So Wasted   I'm So Wasted   Inner Voice   Inner Voice   Intervention Song   Intervention Song   Joining The Cult   Joining The Cult   Kermet And Big Bird Stoned   Leabing Song Part II   Leabing Song Part II   Like A Hurricane   Like A Hurricane   Listen into the radio   Listenin' To The Radio   Listenin' To The Radio   Long Ago   Long Ago   Love Stinks   Lunchlady Land   Lunchlady Land   Masturbata   Masturbata   Medium Pace   Medium Pace   Memor lane   Memory Lane   Memory Lane   Mother's Day Song   Mother's Day Song   Mother's Day Song   Moyda   Mr. 'I Do' and the Doo Doos   Mr. Bake-o   Mr. Bake-O   Mr. Spindel's Phone Call   Mr. Spindel's Phone Call   My Little Chicken   My Little Chicken   Newlyweds, Sleepyheads   Ode to My Car   Ode to My Car   Oh Mom...   Oh Mom...   Operman   Patch Song   Pibb Goes Surfing   Pibb Needs the Hot Rocks   Pibb Takes the Mexican ATV Tour   Pibb Tries the Skateboarding   Pickin' Daisies   Pickin' Daisies   Piece Of Shit Car   Pot Head Anthem   Real Love   Red Hooded Sweatshirt   Respect   Retarded Burger King Song   Retarded Burger King Song   Right Field   Right Field   Santa Song   Santa Song   Secret   Sex Or Weight Lifting   She Comes Home To Me   She Comes Home To Me   Sid & Alex   Sid & Alex   Somebody Kill Me   Somebody Kill Me   Stan the Man   Steve Polychronopolous   Steve Polychronopolous   Stoned On Sesame Street   Summer Love   Sun Tan Lotion Song   Sweat Beatrice   Sweet Beatrice   Technical Foul   Technical Foul   Teenage Love On The Phone   Teenage Love On The Phone   Thanksgiving Song   The Adventures Of The Cow   The Adventures Of The Cow   The Amazing Willy Wanker   The Beating Of A High School Bus Driver   The Beating Of A High School Bus Driver   The Beating Of A High School Janitor   The Beating Of A High School Janitor   The Beating Of A High School Science Teacher   The Beating of a High School Science Teacher   The Beating Of A High School Spanish Teacher   The Beating Of A High School Spanish Teacher   The Beer Song   The Boss and the Secretary   The Buffoon & The Dean Of Admissions   The Buffoon & The Dean Of Admissions   The Buffoon And The Dean Of Admissions   The Buffoon And The Dean Of Admissions   The Buffoon And The Valedictorian   The Buffoon And The Valedictorian   The Champion   The Chanuka Song   The Chanukah Song   The Chanukah Song (ii)   The Chanukah Song Part II   The Chanukah Song Part III   The Chanukah Song Pt. 3   The Chanukah Song, Part 3   The Cheerleader   The Cheerleader   The Excited Southerner At A Job Interview   The Excited Southerner Gets Pulled Over   The Excited Southerner Gets Pulled Over   The Excited Southerner Meets Mel Gibson   The Excited Southerner Meets Mel Gibson   The Excited Southerner Orders A Meal   The Excited Southerner Orders A Meal   The Excited Southerner Proposes To A Girl   The Excited Southerner Proposes To A Woman   The Goat   The Goat   The Goat Song   The Grandma Song   The Hannukah Oing   The Hanukkah Song   The Hypnotist   The Hypnotist   The Kangaroo Song   The lone some kicker   The Lonesome Kicker   The Longest Pee   The Longest Pee   The Mayor of Pussytown   The Mule Session   The New Chanukah Song   The Peeper   The Peeper   The Psychotic Legend Of Uncle Donnie   The Psychotic Legend Of Uncle Donnie   The Respect Chant   The Taliban Can   The Taliban Can   The thanks giving song   The Thanksgiving Song   The Thanksgiving Song   The Thanksgiving Song Performed By Adam Sandler   Three Cheers For Ottawa (Go Leafs Go)   Three Cheers For Ottawa (Go Leafs Go)   Toll Booth Willie   Toll Booth Willie   Voodoo   Welcome My Son   Welcome My Son   What The Hell Happened To Me   What The Hell Happened To Me?   What The Hell Happened To Me?   Whitey   Whore! Where Are You?!   Zittly Van Zittles

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